Let’s Put That Caffeine To Work!

I’m talking to the store manager in the office. A department manager swings by and says:

Department Manager: “I’m sending [Coworker #1] home.”

Store Manager: “Oh, why is that?”

Department Manager: “He got a new thermos, which looked really similar to [Coworker #2]’s, and he kinda finished the wrong coffee.”

Me: “Oh no.”

Store Manager: “What am I not getting?”

Me: “[Coworker #1] is notoriously sensitive to caffeine and only drinks decaf.”

Department Manager: “[Coworker #2] makes her coffee each morning by taking sixteen full-strength espresso coffee capsules and pouring them into her thermos one at a time.”

Store Manager: “How is [Coworker #1] feeling?”

Department Manager: “Well, he says he can feel his heartbeat inside his eyelids.”

Store Manager: “Okay, maybe sending him home would be for the best. No chance we can weaponize him for efficient closing duties or dealing with problem customers?”

Department Manager: “I think if he had to deal with some of our more poorly-behaved regulars in his current state, we’d have a murder on our hands.”

Store Manager: “…”

Me: “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

Store Manager: “Fine, send him home.”