Let’s Hope They Really Didn’t Need To Go

I work in a museum. There is an information kiosk that is literally fifteen steps from the bathroom. If you are talking to me, you need to turn around 180 degrees, decide if you want men’s or women’s, angle your feet 45 degrees, and walk fifteen feet. The bathrooms are large and can be entered from either end of a long hallway. Most people are able to find them.

Some people are both obtuse and rude. It’s like they expect me to hold their hand and walk them into the stall. Those people get directed to the “other bathroom.”

I send them up the stairs, across the main hall, down the other stairs, and into the other door of the same bathroom. The look on their faces when they exit and see they were back at my kiosk is priceless. If they are really, really obnoxious, I send them to the bathroom at the complete opposite end of the museum, assuming correctly that they will never find me again.