Let’s Hope They Can Raise Brian To The Occasion

I have been chasing a raise for three years. I have done this by always being the dependable one, working the night shifts when called in to cover, handling most of the accounting, and being extra helpful with the customers to the point where we get a lot of regulars because “the service here is just so good.”

Eventually, I tell my boss:

Me: “I need to be paid better, or I am going to leave.”

Boss: “If you’re just going to leave, why should we give you a raise?”

Me: “First of all, what kind of f***** up catch-22 is that?! Second of all, it looks like three years of working hard here has earned me precisely zero loyalty, so I’m out. Good luck only having Brian for the night shift, who last night thought that filling one tire would somehow distribute air to all four.”