Let’s Cut The Clap

(One of my duties as an ESL teacher is to help my more advanced students prepare for English Speech competitions. A student is reciting a first draft of her new speech about a violin concert she gave while visiting another school.)

Student: “As I finished the song, the auditorium was silent. I was very frightened. Then, one man began to crap.”

(I look up from the notes I’ve been taking.)

Student: “Then, another man began to crap. Soon, everyone is crapping. I think they enjoyed my song, after all.”

Me: “I think maybe you should use the word ‘applaud’ for your speech. Here, let’s practice together…”