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Let Us Dumb This Down: NOT YOURS, DON’T TOUCH!

, , , , , | Working | October 14, 2021

I’m sitting in the lunchroom waiting to get to the fridge as, apparently, some people don’t know how to queue and push their way past. [Coworker] is taking a long time rummaging through the fridge like she is searching for something. Finally, with a loud, “Aha!” she pulls out a lunch box — my lunch box.

Me: “[Coworker], that’s mine.”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “I normally like to eat my lunch out of my lunchbox at lunchtime.”

Coworker: “Well, you gave it away yesterday, so you probably don’t want it.”

I’m pretty easygoing, but [Coworker] just gets on my nerves; she’s greedy, lazy, and inconsiderate of others. Lunchtime is a particular annoyance as she loudly stuffs her face throughout, often watching some obnoxious videos loudly on her phone. Most people eat in their cars to get even a little bit of quiet.

Me: “No, you don’t just assume and take other people’s food! What is wrong with you?! Give me my lunch!”

She pulls it out of my reach.

Coworker: “No, what will I eat?”

Me: “You are a grown woman. Act like it!”

At that moment, one of the senior human resources advisors walks in.

HR Advisor: “Is this something I need to be involved in?”

Me: *Sighing* “No, it’s nothing. It’s just—”

Coworker: “Yes! He won’t let me eat my lunch and he called me fat.”

HR Advisor: “Really?”

Me: “No, of course not. It’s my lunch. It has my name on it, for Pete’s sake, and I didn’t call her anything.”

HR Advisor: “Can I suggest you return the food and sort this out? Otherwise, come to my office.”

[Coworker] did give me my lunch, and one of my other coworkers made a complaint on my behalf without me knowing. Apparently, [Coworker] stole my food because her doctor had put her on a diet and I always bring in healthy food. She did agree to stop taking food out of the fridge, but only if I bought in enough for the two of us. I declined that offer, which made me “selfish” according to [Coworker].

I really miss working from home.