Let There Be Unhappy Feet

(I am working at the penguin exhibit during the summer.)

Guest: “Hey, why are all the lights off?”

Me: “The penguins are from the Southern Hemisphere, so it’s winter for them. Therefore, we have the lights off for most of the day in order to simulate the dark Antarctic winter environment.”

Guest: “Well, I don’t think it’s healthy for them to be in the dark so long. You should release them back to the wild and into the light.”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, it is dark in Antarctica right now too. If we released them there, they would still be in the dark.”

Guest: “Whatever… it’s just not healthy! They need to see the light!” *pauses* “You forgot to pay your electric bill, didn’t you?”

Me: “What? No! Of course we pay our electric bills. All the lights are on in the park! However, in order to keep our penguins happy, we have to keep it dark in the summer.”

Guest: “Don’t lie! I can’t believe you are keeping these fish in such drab conditions! Next time, pay your electric bill!”

Me: *speechless*