Let Them Be Cake

Customer: “I’d like to cancel my membership.”

Me: “I can help you with that, but may I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

Customer: “Have you seen me here before?”

Me: “I can’t say that I have.”

Customer: *Scans membership card.* “How long have I been a member?”

Me: *Looks at screen.* “Uh… oh, twelve years. Since we opened.”

Customer: “I don’t think I have been here five times in that time. I totally forgot I was even a member. So… yeah, I think I’d better cancel.”

Me: “I will do that for you. Y’know, now that you remembered you’re a member, you could start coming in? Your monthly rate is one of those grandfathered-in founding members rates that you’d never get again.”

Customer: “Nah. I remember signing up, thinking I wanted to be a beefcake. I only achieved half that goal… and it ain’t the beef.”

Me: “Noted!”

I had him cancelled and out of there in less than a minute.