Lemon Balm And Snake Oil
I’m picking up my son from school, standing outside with all the other parents. My son is a bit of a forgetful klutz, so as soon as he comes out, I ask:
Me: “You have your gym clothes? Your lunch box? Your insulin?”
Son: “Oh shoot! I forgot my gym clothes!”
He rushes back in to get them, and another mother comes over.
Mother: “Did I hear you say insulin?”
Me: “Yes. [Son] is diabetic.”
Mother: “Oh, that’s not good! You don’t need to put him on that artificial stuff! Insulin is just doctors shilling for Big Pharma. You should just rub lemon balm essential oils into his heels every night.”
Me: “So… that’s the cure for diabetes is it? Lemon balm essential oils? Should we alert the medical community that Susan from Springdale has solved Diabetes! Maybe you could solve Cancer next?”
Mother: “Hmph! Fine. Be like that.”
I suddenly felt very worried about her kids. I mentioned it to the school nurse a few days later, and she just rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t worry, the kids live with their dad every other week and get their vaccinations and checkups with him.”
