Legally Allowed To End You

, , , , , | Right | July 31, 2019

(I am working one night in a small shop on the corner. Think quaint English village, where everyone knows everyone. The owner’s daughter has come in to pick up a set of keys as she is locked out of her home. She lives above the shop. She is almost six feet tall, very blonde, and slender, and is one of the kindest and most beautiful people you would ever meet. I am the opposite: grumpy and short, with dyed black hair and facial piercings.)

Drunk Customer: *staring at the owner’s daughter* “Oh, sweetheart! I would give her one all right! Right in the–”

Me: “I’m going to stop you there. You really don’t want to finish that sentence.”

Drunk Customer: “What do you know, you gothic c***? What kind of religion lets someone into heaven if they do something so stupid to their face?!” *gestures to my facial piercings*

Me: “I warned you.”

Drunk Customer: “She’s legal, ain’t she? Oi, sweetheart! Come home with me?!”

Me: “She’s fourteen.”

(The drunk customer paled just as the owner came out, having heard the tail end of his lewd remarks. You know how I said the owner’s daughter was six foot? She got her height from her father, who is almost seven feet tall and built like a rugby player. The drunk customer was in such a hurry to leave that he fell and chipped his tooth on the railing outside.)

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