From A Private Booth To A Private Cell

, , , , | Legal | August 17, 2018

(I am the hostess and cashier at a Mexican restaurant. My station at the front is a completely separate room; I cannot see the dining area from the register. Every single staff member, from the owner down to the servers and cooks, is Hispanic. I’m the only Caucasian employee, but since I still have dark hair, dark eyes, and a fairly dark skin tone, people frequently mistake me for Hispanic, as well. A husband and wife walk in during a very busy Friday evening.)

Me: “Good evening! Welcome to [Restaurant]!”

Wife: “We want a booth, please.”

Me: “If a booth is available, that will be no problem.”

Wife: “Fine.”

(I seat the couple. Every booth is taken, so I put them at a table. I go back to the register, and within a few minutes have a long line of people cashing out. Eventually, the couple comes up to the register to pay.)

Me: “Hello! How was everything tonight?”

Wife: “AWFUL!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. What was the problem?”

Husband: “We asked for a booth and you put us at a table!”

Me: “Sir, there were no booths available when I sat y’all; it’s been very busy tonight and a lot of other people also wanted booths. It was just bad timing.”

Husband: “We saw people at booths get up and leave! You should have reseated us! You knew we wanted a booth, and now you’ve ruined our night out!”

Me: “I do apologize but, sir, I cannot see the dining area from here, nor what tables people get up from. If you want a booth that badly, you’d have a better chance at getting one if you came during a less busy time.”

Wife: *shouting at this point* “You b****! We should have expected this of some lazy f****** [Mexican racial slur]!”

(My patience and cheerful manner instantly vanish the moment the slur leaves her mouth. I can deal with swearing, but I have ZERO tolerance for racist crap like this.)

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t care how angry you are. You will not use that kind of language in this establishment!”

Husband: *also shouting* “How dare you speak to my wife like that?! We are God-fearing white folks! We’ll say anything we d*** well please about all you filthy [racial slur]s!” *gestures to me and to the couple of servers who came in to investigate the shouting* “You will give us our food for free right now, b****!”

(By this point I am shaking with rage but still trying to control myself.)

Me: “Sir, first of all, I am not Hispanic; I’m just as Caucasian as you are. But that still gives you no right to use racially abusive language towards anybody! If you think swearing and using racial slurs will get you free food, you are sadly mistaken!”

Husband: “No, you’re not! Don’t you f****** lie to me, you little s***! No respectable white girl hangs around these Mexican monkeys! You’re a f****** lying [racial slur] w****!”

Me: “Sir, after this behavior you are definitely not getting your meal for free. Please pay for your food and leave right now!”

(At this, the wife begins screaming unintelligibly, and the husband suddenly lunges at me, grabs my wrist and a handful of my hair, and attempts to physically haul me over the counter from behind the register, screaming profanities and slurs at me and the entire staff. The owner, who has walked in at this point, steps in with my the rest of the staff to pull the man off me. His wife is still screaming like a banshee and attempting to strike the employees pulling her husband off me. The owner eventually pries him loose and proceeds to inform him that once he and his wife have paid for their meal, they are banned from the restaurant. The couple is adamant that they won’t leave unless they get a free meal, which the owner refuses to do.)

Husband: “And what the f*** is some dirty [racial slur] going to do about it?!”

Voice: *from behind him* “Good evening.”

(The husband screamed and whirled around, fists flying, and VERY narrowly missed hitting the two cops who had just walked in the door and dodged him at the last second. One of the servers, it turned out, had called the police during the altercation. They ended up arresting the couple for assault and battery, and assaulting a police officer after the wife attacked the officers when she saw them putting her husband in handcuffs. All this because they got a table when they wanted a booth.)

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Needs A “Change” In Tactics

, , , | Legal | August 16, 2018

(My supervisor is telling a coworker and me about a high school student who was working in the store one holiday season. My supervisor was on one register, and the  student was on another when a man charged into the store and right up to her register.)

Man: “I want the money.”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Man: “I want you to open the register, and get me the money.”

Coworker: “Sir, I can’t open the register. I’ll need to get a manager to open it.” *she reaches for her radio and calls out, the whole time staring the man right in the eye* “MOD, MOD, there’s a man up at the front who’s demanding money out of the register.”

Manager: *over the radio* “What, like the change was miscounted and he wants it fixed?”

Coworker: *continuing to make eye contact with the man* “Oh, no. He’s trying to rob us.”

(As soon as my coworker oh-so-casually mentioned he was attempting to rob them, he ran out of the store as fast as he could. My supervisor was laughing too hard at the story to tell us if he was arrested or not for the haphazard robbery attempt.)

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Has A Sinking Feeling About This

, , , | Legal | August 15, 2018

(My mum used to joke that I had everything in my handbag except the kitchen sink. One day she goes to a garage sale and picks up a plastic toy sink and gives it to me. About a week later I get stopped at a police check for random drug and alcohol testing, license checks and searches of cars. I pass the drug and alcohol testing and license checks then am I asked to get out of my car with my handbag.)

Officer: “Anything in your bag or car I should know about?”

Me: “No. But as this is going to take awhile can I please call my work to let them know I’ll be late?”

Officer: “Let me search your bag, then you can.”

(I hand him my bag which is quite big and is mostly full with the toy sink sitting near the top.)

Officer: *trying not to laugh* “Seriously? In all my years as a cop that’s the first time I’ve seen everything including the kitchen sink.”

(He hands me my bag, keys and license back.)

Officer: *still laughing* “Have a good day, miss.”

(I get a few dirty looks from other people in the line as I drive away but am pleased to be able to make it to work on time.)

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Return Fender Bender Back To Sender

, , , , | Legal | August 15, 2018

(A light has just changed and I’m slowing down as I approach it so I can stop. I see a truck barreling towards me, but I can’t move out of his way fast enough. He hits me with enough force to send me across the entire intersection. Thankfully, I am all right. Ironically, he does it in front of two cops. This happens two weeks after, when my insurance already has started on getting payment from the other guy.)

Insurance Rep: “This is [Rep] from [Insurance]. We need a recorded statement from you. Unfortunately, the other driver is fighting this and says you were at fault for the accident. As none of us have a copy of the police report, we need recorded statements from all involved parties.”

Me: “Oh… Okay. Would you also like a copy of the report? I’ve got it saved to my computer and can email it to you right now.”

Insurance Rep: “You are now my favorite person. Yes to that, as well!”

(A month later, I heard the other guy lied to his insurance company, and said I was weaving in and out of lanes and that’s why he hit me. He had them take me to arbitration, ending with me getting $2,000 and him probably being dropped by his car insurance.)

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Notary-ious Behavior

, , , , | Legal | August 14, 2018

Customer: “I’ve been driving around all day trying to find a notary; you’d better have one on staff here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we do not at this time; however, there is–”

Customer: *instantly starts yelling before I can finish* “BUT I CALLED AND YOU SAID YOU HAD ONE!”

Me: “I can assure you I did no such thing, nor did my coworker, and I’m going to have to ask you not to yell.”


Me: “A moment ago you said you talked to someone on the phone, and now you’re saying you left a message; if you are going to try to bully me into a service that we don’t offer then at least get your lies straight. Also, if you can’t be civil I’m going to have to kick you out.”


Me: “I know exactly where a notary is, but I wasn’t bluffing; get out.”

(The customer picks up the mug on the counter we keep pens in and throws it at me, still yelling about needing a notary. I dodge the mug, and walk calmly around the counter, getting right in her face and and speaking more calmly than I thought I could pull off.)

Me: “Ma’am, what you did there is considered assault. There are two cameras watching us right now; if you don’t leave I’m calling the police.”

Customer: *shrinking back under the death glare I am giving* “I… Um… Can you tell me where that notary was located?”

Me: “I would have if you hadn’t assaulted me, put a hole in my wall, and broke my mug. If your next words aren’t, ‘Have a nice day,’ the police will be shown this footage.”

Customer: “I… you… I just… Have a nice day.”

(She left and was never seen in our office again.)

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