Pray That Scammer Never Comes Back

, , , | Legal | February 26, 2020

I have recently started working at a local restaurant. Despite having only a few days of experience under my belt, my previous job experience in the field as a supervisor plus my strong responsibility ethic effectively gives me a sense of leadership.

It’s about 8:30 pm in the evening when a lone, older man walks in. He hasn’t done anything yet that would signal a red flag, but I assume that he has some sort of disability just by how he’s acting, such as when I direct him to a table; he sits in the bar. I am not a native Swedish speaker; I’m English but learning the language.

“How was your food, sir?”

“Oh… I am praying.”

I give him a smile and a light tap on the shoulder. He then orders the most expensive item on our menu which should have been the first red flag. In my time working here, I’ve only seen one other person order that food, and in comparison to this gentleman, that customer looked as if he could afford it. Not five minutes after his food arrives, I see him putting his coat on and leaving.

“Did he pay with you?”

“No, but maybe he’s going out for a cigarette?”

“He said he was going home. Maybe he paid with [Coworker]?”

“Hold on; I’ll check the computer.”

His table’s still active, meaning he hasn’t paid. I run to the door and catch him as he’s just leaving the premises, and now I can see why he was being so strange before: he’s completely drunk. I usher him back inside, which he complies with. I think to myself that he’s probably just forgotten. That is until I get him sat down so he doesn’t keel over.

“Listen… Do you think I’m f****** sitting here for f*** all?”

“No, sir, you just need to pay for your food and drink.”

I print out the receipt and hand it to him. However, he’s having none of it.

“I already paid!”

“Who did you pay with, sir?”

“Prove that I haven’t already paid yet.”

“Which person took your payment, sir? Can you show me your receipt? If you’ve paid, it’s no problem.”


I’m starting to get a little bit agitated by this guy; he’s clearly stalling and expects me to cave. He then starts actually pretending to not speak English and turns his aggression to the bartender. During this, I ask [Coworker] for the phone to call the police. After I get off the phone, the bartender prints off the customer’s receipt again. I show it to the customer.

“See, sir? She would not have been able to do that on the register had you already paid.”

“You know what? Call the f****** police.”

This goes back and forth for quite some time. I get nowhere with the customer until the police show up. Whilst I’m waiting on him so he doesn’t do a runner, multiple tables are looking over at me expectantly; they haven’t had service yet. When the police arrive, I get the runner to take tables, and I go out to talk with the officers.

“Hi. Is he still here?”

“Yeah, just give me a moment, though? I want to give him one last chance before handing him to you.”

“Sure, we’ll wait here.”

“Okay, sir, the police are waiting outside. You can either settle this bill now or go with the police tonight. Your choice.”

“I will talk with the police.”

“Fine. Hard way it is.”

He ended up talking with the police in Swedish. I didn’t understand it all but the gist was that the police gave him two options: arrest for theft or pay and leave. He chose the latter, thank God. But honestly, all that fuss over nothing? What the h*** was he expecting to happen?

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This Mother Makes Margaret White Look Warm

, , , , , | Legal | February 21, 2020


(I’m just about to close our store. It’s in the middle of winter and I see a woman with a child in a thin sundress and tights walking past the storefront. Our last customer, a police officer, walks up to them.)

Policeman: “Excuse me. You should really get your daughter a coat and gloves. It’s freezing outside and she looks like she’s very cold.”

Woman: “That’s none of your business. Besides, kids don’t feel temperature like normal people do.”

Policeman: “Normal people? I don’t think–”

Woman: “They don’t feel the cold as we do. Anyway, she’s always complaining, so I just stopped caring.”

Policeman: “Maybe she’s complaining because she’s freezing? Look, her fingers are as red as–”

Woman: “No, no, no! She faking this! Kids do everything for attention! Just ignore her!”

Daughter: “Mommy, I’m really cold.”


Policeman: Look! I don’t normally interfere with people’s parenting but this is clearly bad for the girl’s health.”

Woman: *shrugs*

(The next time I stepped outside, I saw her surrounded by four cops who loaded her into a police van.)

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The Continuing Adventures Of Mr. Genius

, , , , , | Legal | February 19, 2020

I witnessed this on TV over 30 years ago. It was the time where taxes on cigarettes in Quebec got very high. There were a lot of robberies of convenience stores, and they were stealing only cigarettes. Then, in the news, they showed a video of a robbery captured on security camera footage. A group of guys broke into a convenience store carrying a large trashcan, and while two of them grabbed all the cigarettes they could and put them in the trashcan, one, all smiling with a face saying, “D***! I’m so smart!” approached the camera with a pair of snippers and cut the video wire.

Apparently, Mr. Genius thought that cutting the wire would “erase” everything. Of course, they never took the videotape out. Police caught them a few days later.

During the same period, I was working as a service rep for a copier company. I got a call because there had been a break-in at a customer’s convenience store and the copier was damaged. It turned out that glass shards from the front door had fallen into the copier when the cigarette robbers broke in. Their location was slightly remote.

The police were still there when I arrived.

I asked the manager if he had them on a security camera.

He said, “Actually, it’s our third break-in. They figured out the schedule of the police rounds and hit when they were the farthest from here. The first two times, they managed to break into the office and grab the cassette. But not this time. We secured the VTR and jammed the cassette in. The police are looking at the footage as we speak. Smiling.”

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A** T*** M*****

, , , , , , | Legal | February 15, 2020

(I work as a night-time cashier in a small-town gas station. Our ATM is out of service at this time. A customer walks in.)

Customer: “Do you guys have an ATM?”

(She is polite and kind about it.)

Me: “We do but it’s currently not working.”

Customer: *sighs* “Oh, okay. Do you guys do cashback?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t.”

(The customer’s politeness turns into an angry rage)

Customer: “Well, you guys are f****** lame. You guys should do f****** cashback, since you lazy a**** want to mess up the g**d*** machines so that customers can’t use them. Some of us prefer to pay with cash!”

Me: *calmly* “I apologize that the ATM isn’t working and that we don’t do cashback, but there are two ATMs nearby that you can try to use…”

(I then tell her the location of said ATMs, which aren’t but a few blocks in each direction. Surprisingly enough, she doesn’t say anything while I’m explaining this. After I’m finished, though, she starts yelling again)

Customer: “F*** you and this g**d*** place. You can go suck a c*** with your nasty-a** attitude. I’m not coming here again.”

(As she turns and heads out the door, I say, “Have a great night, ma’am,” but she stops as soon as I finish speaking and turns around. I then grab the phone and hide it with my fingers on the keypad, as I know what possibly could happen and may have to end up calling the cops.)

Customer: “What did you f****** call me?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to quit your name-calling and being disrespectful, or you can leave.”

Customer: “I’m not going any-f******-where.”

(Then, she started cussing me and berating me. By this time, I had dialed the number to the police and hit the talk button. While I was on the phone, she was making statements like, “F*** the police. They’re not going to s***,” etc. After talking with the dispatcher, I hung up, and she said something else, ran out the door, got in her car, and squealed tires out of the parking lot. I quickly called the dispatcher back and described the vehicle she was driving. Dispatch informed me that the police were on the way. About a minute later, she came back into the parking lot in a calm manner and got out of her car. As she was doing this, the police arrived, and she got back in the car and tried to back out and speed away. She hit a police car in the progress. Naturally, they told her several times to get on the ground but she refused, and they ended up having to use a taser on her as she started running toward the police officers. After a while of dealing with her and securing her in the police car, the officer came in and got my side of the story. He informed me that she had stated that I tried to swing at her along with making racist comments and refusing service. Mind you, she had the same skin color as I do. The officer then told me that she should be banned from the place — I have the authority to request someone to be banned since I’m the only one working at night — per my manager, and that she turned out to have drugs on her, several assault charges, several warrants out for her arrest, and a few other charges, and was officially now banned at every gas station in my small town. Months later, I read that she had gotten many years in prison and had to pay thousands of dollars in damages. How I love Karma.)

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Insurance Fraud Knows No Gender

, , , , , , | Legal | February 13, 2020

(I work in an insurance call center. As a call taker, the first thing I need to do is verify the caller is either the owner or authorized person on the policy. Whilst we do get people attempting to access information fraudulently, most of the time it’s simply an individual who can’t be bothered trying to explain to their elderly, hard-of-hearing relative or non-English-speaking relative that they need to be authorized to speak to us. We cannot outright accuse someone of acting fraudulently, especially if they correctly answer the security questions. It’s frustrating for us, so I developed a way of checking that never fails to result in them hanging up.)

Caller: *clearly very male voice, not elderly* “Yes, my name is [Female Name], [account number], [birth date that would make this person much older than they sound].”

Me: “Thank you for calling, Mrs. [Female Name]. How can I help today?”

(I note that there are no authorized persons on the policy)

Caller: “I need to change my address.”

Me: “I can certainly take care of that for you, Mrs. [Female Name]. While I am making that change for you, may I double-check that I have the correct date of birth for you?”

Caller: “Um… yes… it’s…” *pause, a rustle of paper* “[Birth date].”

Me: “Great, thank you. May I also ask a personal question?”

Caller: *tone slightly uncomfortable* “Yeah, what is it?”

Me: “Do you identify as male, female, or other, Mrs. [Female Name]? We’re able to update that for you with no paperwork. We like to ensure we are using your preferred pronouns.”

Caller: “…” *click* 

(Never failed.)

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