In around 2011, one of my good friends was getting rid of his piano. It was a full-sized weighted keyboard that he was getting rid of to make room for the MIDI equivalent so he could use it on his computer to compose music.

As I was the only one in our friend group with experience selling things online, I created the post under my own information, and as offers and things came in I shared them with my friend who owned the piano.

It didn’t take long for the scammers to start replying. They came at us with all kinds of flavors of scam. “We’ll money order you the money plus $500 extra for the guy picking it up.” “We’ll send our mover with a check for the amount plus some extra.” “We will trade you for an equivalent in [Random Store] gift cards.”

Of course, each of these replies only ever referred to the piano as “the item” or “the furniture” and never by name, so I could tell someone was just canvasing the website and shooting out these scam messages.

Finally, I had enough and replied to one of the scammers.

Scammer: “Hello, I am interested in your item. Is it still available?”

Me: “Yes, it is available.”

Scammer: “Agreeable. We would like to extend an offer of $500 plus an extra $500 given upon receipt of the item.”

Me: “That is more than double our listing price. How generous of you!”

Scammer: “We would like to meet you soon; please provide a location for pickup. The driver will pay via check to be used at any bank to receive payment.”

Me: “For sure. We can meet at [address for the local police station] any time you want.”

Scammer: “I work late and will meet you at 2300 hours.”

Me: “All right, see you then.”

Obviously, I didn’t go anywhere, having much more fun trying to convince my friend to take the trade offer of a professional soft-serve ice cream machine out of a restaurant that was shut down.

The next day, I got this message.

Scammer: “You f*** f*** guy, you.”

I legitimately didn’t know who this was because they used a different name and totally different contact information.

Me: “Sorry, who is this?”

Scammer: “Who is this? Who you think, you f*** f*** guy, you! F*** your mother, you f*** f*** guy. You think you’re funny?”

Me: “Yes.”

Scammer: “F*** you! You waste time, f*** f*** guy, you f*** guy.”

Me: “Is that the only swear word you know? This is getting kind of boring.”

Scammer: “You owe me money! I meet you, I get money from you.”

I proceeded to tear into this man, more than likely teaching him several new swear words as I told him exactly where he could shove his driver, truck, and checks.

All of the scam contacts stopped — literally all of them.

Without all the scam messages getting pushed through, I noticed that I had missed a legitimate offer and got in contact with the woman that had made it. We closed the deal and sold the piano that day.

We should have gotten the ice cream machine, though. It was such a good deal.

I get a [Telco] Technical Department scam call. I press one to get connected.

Scammer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: “How are you doing today?”

Me: “I’m doing fine, and yourself?”

Scammer: “I’m good. I’m [Scammer] from [Telco] Technical Department. How are you doing today?”

Me: “I’m doing fine, and yourself?”

This is not a typo. We really did go through this twice.

Scammer: “I’m good. I’m calling you today because over the past couple of weeks we have been receiving errors from your Internet connection, and—”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, but the automated message said you were transferring me onto the [Network]?”

Scammer: “Well, yes, but we’ve also been getting error messages because hackers have gotten access to your Internet connection, and someone is using your Internet connection without your authorisation.”

Me: “How did they get access to my Internet connection?”

Scammer: “Because they have hacked your IP address and compromised your Internet connection.”

Me: “And how have they done this?”

Scammer: “The hackers know a process to hack your IP address.”

Me: “And what is this process?”

Scammer: “I don’t know. I just know that hackers have gotten into your IP address.”

Me: “I thought you said that you knew this process?”

Scammer: “Oh, my God, are you stupid?! I don’t know the process the hackers used. All I know is that the hackers have gotten access to your IP address, and unless we fix it, your Internet will be cut within the next twenty-four hours, okay?”

Me: “Okay.” *Beat* “But what’s the process?”

They hung up.

CONTENT WARNING: Violent injury

I work for a general contractor as an on-the-ground man for several small city projects. I am conducting a lock-out tag-out check when one of my people comes up to me rather slowly. 

Staff: “Sir?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Staff: “I might need to go to the hospital.”

I turn to face him. He looks totally fine, isn’t showing any sign of injury, and is standing straight up. 

Me: “Are you not feeling well?”

Staff: “No, sir. I think I have been stabbed.”

Me: “What?”

Staff: “There was a man over by the generator; I think he was stealing fuel. I stopped him and spoke to him, and I think he stabbed me when I turned around.”

At this point, I have pulled out my mobile to call 911, but I am still confused. 

Me: “You think he stabbed you?”

Staff: “Yeah. Actually, can you check?”

This man turns around and my heart falls out of my chest. Lodged in his lower back is what appears to be a jagged piece of metal with an electrical-taped handle. Blood has run into and stained both his high-vis work shirt and the vest he has on. 

Staff: “Did he get me?”

911 was called immediately. It was a few days later that I got to have a talk with the staffer. He told me he felt the blade go in, but after that, nothing at all. To this day, we don’t know if that was purely due to adrenaline or some other bodily reaction to the stabbing. 

The individual that had stabbed him was captured on the cameras another vendor used to monitor their onsite battery boxes. He was quickly identified by police and arrested. 

I do know that he was let out again and returned to our worksite. He ended up messing with another vendor and tried to stab their employee, as well. Fortunately, the employee was no pushover and ended up breaking the man’s arm and slamming his face into the side of a Toyota Tacoma so hard he indented the bedside. 

The police responding had a laugh and told the employee that his actions would be considered self-defense, and the man was arrested again. This time, he never returned.

It’s a quiet Saturday. Most of my coworkers don’t come in on Saturdays, but I do so that I can take a day off during the week. There are only a few cars in our massive parking lot.

I’m working at my desk, going over investment information, when I hear strange noises coming from outside. I head to our beautiful lobby to investigate. Some woman has pulled up into the parking lots closest to our lobby’s giant windows. She’s pulled up right next to another car.

She’s opening and slamming the various doors of her car and ejecting trash from her car — mostly Cheetos and Cheeto bags, but also several clothing hangers and some face masks. Her driver’s side doors heavily impact the car next to it several times.

At no point does she actually physically leave the car. She’s crawling around inside it, throwing open doors, throwing stuff out, and closing the doors.

Then, I notice that there’s a police car in our lot, too, at the end of one of the rows, just sitting there.

The woman sees me through the lobby windows and makes eye contact. Then, she abruptly shifts her car into reverse — rear driver side door still open — and pulls backward out of the spot, but it doesn’t stop there. She keeps pulling backward, maneuvering through narrow gaps in cars behind her, and still making eye contact with me.

There is, by the way, no need to shoot the gaps like this. The parking is very sparse, and she could have easily not threaded her car into single-car-width gaps, and in fact, had she pulled straight back, she would not have needed to do any threading. However, she seems to be aiming her car to deliberately go through these narrow gaps.

Finally, five rows away from the lobby and in line with the driveway, she abruptly throws her car into a bootlegger turn, complete with squealing tires, and shoots off down the driveway. The force of the turn closes the rear door that had been hanging open.

The cop car starts moving again at this point, driving in another direction.

The worst part — that car she kept hitting with the doors? It was mine.

Years ago, I worked as a court reporter. A deposition was being taken in a civil case. [Attorney #1] was questioning the witness, and [Attorney #2] was representing the witness. The two attorneys had clashed before and were known not to like each other.

At one point, a short break was called for, and [Attorney #2] spoke to the witness privately.

When the deposition resumed…

Attorney #1: “What were you just talking about with [Attorney #2]?”

This is a question you’re not supposed to ask. Attorney-client communications of any kind are privileged.

Attorney #2: “That you’re an a**hole.”