So Sorry That Our Hate Crime Means You Might Have To Type Something…

, , , | Legal | September 3, 2018

(A female friend and her girlfriend have been assaulted because they are lesbians. At our police station, a police officer takes the complaint.)

Friend’s Girlfriend: “You didn’t write the homophobic nature of assault. It’s an aggravating factor.”

Police Officer: “But as soon as we say it’s a hate crime, we have too much paperwork to do!”

Friend & Girlfriend: “…”

Monthly Roundup: August 2018

Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | September 3, 2018

It’s time for the August roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in August deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the 844 stories we posted in the month, we’ve singled out fourteen.

If there are any stories from the last month you feel we should have included, please let us know in the comments!

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite stories in the poll below! Note: You can choose up to three. The winner of the previous roundup poll was A Pinch Of Good Parenting Can Go A Long Way, from the Related category!

 

The Gay Card Is Double-Sided – Don’t have that chip on your shoulder when it’s not needed.

The Language Of Disrespect – It pays to be polite in any language.

Pay It Forward Never Needs To Go On Sale – Karma on sale!

Life… Finds A Way – A love, 65 million years in the making.

Was “Tough” To Make Out – Them’s fightin’ words! I think?

Derpy With The Herpy – You’re going to be googling interesting words after this…

Guys So Hot That You Just Got Burned – A burning desire to not have sex.

Doesn’t Have The Power To Make Such Demands – The pen is mightier than the customer!

They Rostered Their Own Last Days – Lies in the age of smartphone cameras.

The Judicial Blintz – Getting citizenship is a piece of cake!

Flipped Their Last Bird – A huge UP YOURS to discriminatory teachers!

Slaves R Us – Working for free is future!

Does Not Have A Licence To Kill Licenses – Fake IDs are not so pretty in pink.

You’ve Crumbled Your Own Cookie – Thou shalt not steal chocolate!

 

Please choose your favorite story of the month!

View Results

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Tailgate Meet Their Tail-Fate

, , , , , , , | Legal | September 2, 2018

I’m driving home from work after a closing shift one evening. It’s 11:30 pm and traffic is extremely light on my highway, with only two other cars maybe 100 yards ahead of me. For some reason, one of the cars begins to tailgate the other. There is no traffic, and they are both in the slow lane going a reasonable speed. The tailgater could easily just pass, but no. He just starts inching closer and closer to the other car until he’s practically on his bumper. I actually slow down to put some more distance between their car and mine because I think it might cause an accident, he’s so ridiculously close.

After a full minute and a half of this, the tailgater finally decides to whip around the other car. Then, a siren comes on.

It turns out, the “slow” car was actually an undercover cop, who of course immediately pulled the tailgater over. I kept driving obviously, a happy witness to instant justice.

Not What They Mean When They Say To Hand Out Your Resumé

, , , , | Legal | September 1, 2018

Sadly, this is a story about my son. A few years ago he broke into a home, and loaded items into his backpack and left. Sadly for him, luckily for the police, when putting items in the backpack, he removed some papers to make room.

The papers?

Copies of his resumé with full name and contact information.

Bringing A Knife To A Gun-Flight

, , , , | Legal | August 31, 2018

I work as a general screener at an airport, and mostly frisk for weapons, sharp objects, LAGs, and such.

A family of four comes through, and the old lady takes a while due to her pockets being full of stuff.

Her son comes back from the bag collection towards me, as my female colleague begins her sixteen steps, and starts screaming at us that they are “pure” [nationality] and she is an old woman, so how dare we search her, especially since I’m the foreigner here. I am actually the same as him, but mixed. He starts asking for our badge number and name; I’m about to get a flight supervisor as my colleague signals to me that she found a knife.

Turns out the old lady concealed a knife with an eight-inch blade under her armpit because her family told her she couldn’t bring it on the plane. She intended to use it to cut fruit.

The police and airline ask us our opinion if they should be let through or if there is a risk of more items. I look at him and say that the concealment of the item ought to automatically warrant a full search of their person and baggage. They don’t make their flight that day.