Get Dash-Cams, People!

, , , , , , | Legal | November 24, 2018

(In Australia it’s illegal to talk on or use your phone in any way while driving. You can use Bluetooth. I’m driving home, up a steep mountain, in a 50-kmph zone. A car screeches up behind me doing at least double that, until they almost hit the back of me. I don’t freak out, but I definitely have some choice words to mutter to myself. Then, as soon as it starts, they immediately back off and pretend to drive like a sane person. I’m watching the road, but I’ll admit I’m a bit distracted looking in the mirror. Then, I see flashing lights behind them and get excited they’re getting their comeuppance. Well… they don’t. The car moves out the way and the police car following moves past them. I assume at this point they’re headed to an emergency, so I, too, pull over to let them pass. The jerk driver leaves on his merry way and the cop car parks behind me. I open my window.)

Me: “Sorry, but are you stopping here, or stopping me?”

Cop: *getting out* “We’re stopping you.”

Me: “Oh. Why?”

Cop: “You were on your phone.”

Me: “Huh, actually, no, I wasn’t.”

Cop: “Yes, you were; you threw it in the back.”

Me: “No, it’s here.”

(I pat my pockets, assuming that’s where it is, then ruffle through my handbag. It’s in a pocket. In the meantime, a second cop has come out and is looking in my back window with a torch for the elusive phone I’ve supposedly thrown. It’s midday, in the middle of summer, and my windows aren’t tinted; dramatic much? I show the first cop my phone.)

Me: “Here’s my call log. The last call was at [time], and the last message was at [time]. Here’s a message from two days ago that says my data ran out, so I wasn’t online.”

Cop: “You deleted the records. Just admit it; your hand was to your ear.”

Me: “I am completely unaware of whatever I was doing with my hand.”

Cop: “Well, you were looking scared in the mirror because you saw us and knew you were caught.”

Me: “No, that’s because I was almost in an accident with that car behind me, who did a burnout up the mountain, and then drove at least twice the limit, before nearly hitting me.”

Cop: “Well, you were definitely on your phone.”

Me: “I don’t even know what to say. I wasn’t.”

Cop: “Well, just don’t do it again.”

(This was about five years ago and it still annoys me. For obvious reasons, but also because I forgot until after he let me go that I had Bluetooth and I’d have no reason to use my phone, anyway.)

Not Really Feline This Scam

, , , , | Legal | November 23, 2018

(I answer the phone. For anyone who is not aware, a sufficiently vocal, angry cat can be fairly deafening.)

Caller: “Hello, I am calling because your Windows computer is infected with a virus.”

Me: “Oh, no. Really?”

Caller: “Yes, I will tell you how to remove it.”

Me: “Can you hold while I log in to the computer?” *places on hold*

(I pull up Youtube and find a video of an extremely angry cat screaming bloody murder, pause it, and crank up the computer’s volume. I then take the caller off hold, hold the phone up to the computer speaker, and hit play.)

Me: *after about twenty seconds of shrieking cat* “If you can still hear me, I’m busy. Go scam someone else.”

 

Black Friday Roundup 2018

| Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | November 23, 2018

Black Friday.  The lines. The waiting. The impatient customers. The exhausted and grumpy employees. It can be so overwhelming.

 

To refresh your spirits, here are some stories of those who battled the crowds and the busy times, in or out of the stores, and won.  Perhaps some should have won an award for Best Customer or Best Employee.

 

Keeping The Line Moving Is Moving – Not all heroes (of the store) wear a cape.

Working Hard: $100; Holiday Spirit: Priceless – Good customer. Good manager. Good story.

Can’t Vouch For That Scam – It takes just one good customer to turn a bad day around.

Sorry, You’ll Have To Settle For A Burger Civil-Partnership For Now – I Now Pronounce You Customer And Fries.

Dealing with Humans Is A Lottery – Basic decency may be a winner.

The Power Of A (Lack Of A) Name – An unintentional laugh can relieve the tension of busy travel.

Walking Home For Christmas – The best customers are the thoughtful customers.

The Only Thing He Should Be Running Is Scared – When your work is recognized by a higher power… in the company.

Drive It Forward – Making amends leads to a string of kindness.

Another Reason To Be Thankful – Some customers make it all worthwhile.

 

An extra:

Taking Some Mugshots – Getting a gift that shows your opinions about customers. What a great idea!

You can do some Black Friday online shopping at the Not Always Right Store! 20% off all orders with the code NARBLACK20.    Support your favorite website while you buy some awesome gifts. You know you love us as much as we love you!

 

Rise And Scam

, , , | Legal | November 22, 2018

(It’s four am, and I get a call.)

Caller: “This is [My Bank]. I’m sorry for calling so early, but your credit card number has been stolen!”

Me: “What?!”

Caller: “Yes. To verify your identity, please give me your credit card number.”

(Like a sleep-deprived idiot, I give my number. They tell me that they’re going to freeze the account, and we hang up.)

Partner: “Mhmf. What did they want?”

Me: “My card’s been stolen! They called as soon as…”

Partner: “…as soon as it was stolen?”

Me: *realizing* “I… I need to call our bank. Now.”

(I cancelled the card. Luckily, I didn’t have any charges yet. I now set my phone to Do Not Disturb mode when sleeping, and I tell any “banks” that I’ll call them by their official number!)

It’s About The Turkey, See The Stuffing, The Potatoes Are So Mellow, I Yam What I Yam

| Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | November 22, 2018

In memory of our little experiment with a different style of titles, we offer up a Thanksgiving spread of stories with absolutely normal titles.  Feast upon some of our best-loved tales of the foods of Thanksgiving, including some all-time favorites!

Talking Turkey – Sometimes it’s the simple things.

Going Red About The Green – What’s the matter, pumpkin pie?

A Barrel Of Laughs – By any chance, did the writer fall in… and were they wearing green? It would explain the previous story…

Not Talking Turkey This Thanksgiving – Fare is fair!

Pranksgiving – That’s not how a turducken works.

Not Talking Enough Turkey – He likes his turkey as dry as a martini, but hold the booze and give it to the poor server!

A Cocktail Of Lies And Cookies – He likes his cookies like… Wait. Never mind.

Wasn’t Born In The Pumpkin Patch – Guess he won’t get a visit from The Great Pumpkin, either.

With Great Bacon Comes Great Responsibility – Some love it. Some hate it. Some say everything is better with bacon.

A Monster Mash Potato – We think it sounds tasty…

More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving – This story of turkey-grabbing mayhem is a favorite for good reason!

 

We give thanks for the things we have, the friends and family we love, and the end of those goofy titles. Now, let’s eat!

 

Tell us your tales of Thanksgiving foods. Does your feast include something unique or different? Feel free to share the recipe, too!

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