Not Voting In Your Favor

, , , , | | Legal | June 3, 2019

(In Brazil, voting is mandatory by law. We may annul our votes, but we need to be physically present at our designated voting center or have a good reason not to be. Otherwise, we pay a fee and there might be some legal repercussions. In the last election weekend, I was in Canada for work, and only took the plane back Sunday. I go to justify missing the election.)

Me: “Hi. I need to justify missing the last election, as I was traveling. Here’s my documentation.”

Clerk: “This says you left your trip at 10:00 am. You still had plenty of time to come and vote. This justifies nothing.”

Me: “Perhaps you’re not aware, but it’s a twelve-hour flight from where I was, so I arrived in Brazil after the voting was already over.”

Clerk: *condescendingly* “Then you should have planned your little trip better, shouldn’t you?”

Me: “Can you just please put the documents through? I’m sure if…”

Clerk: “That’s not my problem! I’m not submitting a justification that doesn’t even cover the election times, just because you think you’re special and can break the law.”

Me: “Can I speak to a supervisor?”

(She calls one, mumbling about stupid, entitled people. I explain to the supervisor.)

Supervisor: “She’s very right. It’s not our job to fudge a justification so you can get off easy.”

Me: *now totally perplexed* “But it’s not fudging! I wasn’t in the country!”

Supervisor: “We’re not doing this. You’d better go now before I call security.”

(I left, very irritated and confused, and tried again at a different center a couple of days later. Believe it or not, I had almost the exact same conversation at the other center! My company decided to pay the fee for me, figuring it was better than to keep having me miss work to deal with it, or have any legal hassle later. I tried complaining up the government chain, but the sad thing is that these are all public servants, and for them to get even a write-up it needs to be an offense you could pretty much get arrested over, so nothing came of it.)

I’d Like To Report Myself

, , , , , , | | Legal | June 2, 2019

I was driving along a stretch of road in the middle of the countryside quite late at night when a deer jumped in front of the car. Because the roads were narrow, I was run off the road and into a ditch.

The car wasn’t damaged, but I couldn’t get it out of the ditch on my own.

I called an emergency tow truck to come out and help pull my car from the verge. Then I called my dad.

I didn’t have to wait long for the tow truck to arrive, but the problem was getting my car out. There we were, stuck on the side of the road for ages, his orange lights flashing, my car stuck in a ditch in the pitch black. I think we were there for two hours.

The tow driver advised me to call and file a report with the police, “just in case,” as driving from the scene of an accident is a crime. I did as he advised, but the police station assured me that I didn’t need to come in as no other car was in the accident with me. I tried to make a report but was told I didn’t need to.

Just as dawn started to break, my car was out of the ditch and at the mechanics getting looked over. I promptly went to bed, exhausted and about £350 poorer, when someone knocked on my door.

It was the police.

Apparently, they had gotten a report from someone that I had driven away from an accident.

No one had seen my car or driven past on that dead stretch of road in the entire time I was there and there were no cars around for miles. I was justifiably confused.

I informed them of what the station had said when I phoned — that I was on my own, that no other cars were involved, and that I was at the scene of the accident for three hours total before I did drive away. I also informed them I was advised that I didn’t need to make a report as no crimes had been committed.

The officers phoned into the station. It turned out the “report” of me leaving the scene of the crime was my phone call, trying to report the accident.

I wasn’t charged and the officers left, slightly confused.

Social Insecurity, Part 8

, , , , , | | Legal | June 1, 2019

(Like most people, I do not pick up my phone when an unfamiliar number rings unless I am expecting a call from a specific person or company. A number unknown to me rings and I ignore it. They leave a voicemail, which is unusual, so I listen to it thinking it may be important. The message goes as follows:)

Message: “You are receiving this call from our department because we have noticed suspicious activity on your social security number and we have suspended it until further notice. Press two to learn more.”

(No information on what “department,” I laughed and deleted it, knowing social security numbers don’t work that way. By far, the silliest scam call I’ve ever gotten.)

Social Insecurity, Part 7
Social Insecurity, Part 6
Social Insecurity, Part 5

Get Ready For The Show

, , , , , , | | Legal | May 31, 2019

While in college I worked part-time as an EMT.

I will never forget this call. It was one of my very first Code 3 calls as an EMT.

It was during the summer. I had just started a few months before and we got a call of a Motor Vehicle Accident with persons trapped.

We loaded up, lights and sirens on, and we tore down the road. The call was only a five-minute drive without lights and sirens, but we made it there in about three minutes.

We arrived on the scene, and it turned out it was a minor fender bender. A young man about 17 or 18 tapped the bumper of the car in front of him after the car slammed on their brakes to pull into a fast food place.

The fire engine pulled up a minute later and they got out and asked me where the trapped occupants were. I had no idea.

We walked over to the car that was hit and we asked the lady who was trapped. She said her husband was, pointing to the man sitting in the passenger seat.

My partner walked over and opened the door, and the man started to complain about pain in his back, neck, and hips. My partner popped his head out and looked at me and mouthed, “He’s faking.”

It turns out they had just left the ER because the husband had cut his hand or something and were on their way home, and because of the medical complaint we had to transport him back to the ER. We decided since he was giving us the complaint of back and neck pain we would give him and his wife the show they wanted.

We got out the backboard, neck brace, and a huge roll of tape. He told us he didn’t need a neck brace or backboard. We told him that since he complained of back and neck pain it was protocol.

We put the neck brace on and made sure it was very snug, and then we put him on the backboard and taped his head down.

We transported him to the hospital and we told the triage nurse that he was a Code TM — Troublemaker. We ran six more calls that evening to the same ER over a period of nine hours, and they still had him strapped to the board until he finally checked himself out.

We found out later that the whole thing was an attempt by the couple to get a huge insurance payout from the young man’s insurance company, but the insurance company refused to pay them a dime.

The young man barely tapped their bumper. In fact, it was so light there wasn’t even a chip in the paint, so they got stuck with the towing fee — they insisted the car get towed to the body shop because it was undriveable — ambulance transport fee, and emergency room fees.

Because of the way she reported the accident by calling 911 and saying there was a person trapped, a huge response was made; three ambulances, a fire engine, several sheriff vehicles, and two highway patrol all responded Code-3 for a bogus call. She was lucky she didn’t get in trouble for making a false report.

It’s A Bailey Struggle

, , , , , , | | Legal | May 29, 2019

(My Saint Bernard is still only a puppy, so while I still can, I’m taking him on a walk around the area so he can learn his way around if he gets lost. Despite me only having him for a couple of months, he’s already protective of me, and quite strong, too. I’m at the milk bar at the end of my street and the only pole I can tie him to isn’t in sight from within the shop. I will only take about two minutes, so I leave him there. Upon coming out of the shop I see someone dragging my dog down the path. I’m only twelve and around 5’4″, while this guy is at least 6’4″, muscular, and in his mid-30s.)

Me: *while running* “Hey! That’s my dog!”

(Upon seeing me, my dog starts to pull as hard as he can to get to me, and the guy starts to move faster.)

Me: *getting in front of him* “Didn’t you hear me? That’s my dog!”

Stranger: “Out of my way, girly. Bruno and I are trying to get home.”

(My dog’s name is not Bruno.)

Me: “If his name is Bruno, why does he respond when I call out ‘Bailey’? Why does he seem so eager to get away from you and back to me if he’s your dog?”

Stranger: “Because that’s how he acts around everyone.”

(The shop owner hears me calling and leaves the shop to see what is going on.)

Owner: “Both of you! What’s going on here?”

Stranger: “This little girly here was trying to get my dog!”

Owner: “Really?” *to me* “What was going on here?”

Me: “I came out of your shop and found this guy dragging Bailey down the street!”

Owner: *to the stranger* “Can you prove he’s your dog?”

Stranger: “Well, erm…”

Me: *remembering the tag on his neck* “I can prove he’s mine.”

Stranger: “As if!”

Me: *to the owner* “Look at his tag around his neck! I can tell you the address, the phone number is my mum’s, and his name is Bailey.”

(The owner asks me what the various details are and I answer them. The stranger looks angrier and angrier each time.)

Stranger: *yelling* “YOU JUST LOOKED AT THE TAG BEFORE!”

(The yelling scares my dog, who has been pulling on the lead. When he pulls the lead once more it snaps, and my dog bites the stranger before running to me.)

Stranger: “Give me back my dog! I’m calling the police!”

Owner: “And I’ll show them the security footage.”

(The police were called, and when shown the tapes they took him to their car and the shop owner gave me a new lead.)

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