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Stories about breaking the law!

Don’t School Zones Have Speed Limits?!

, , , , , | Legal | September 26, 2021

I live near a school. [Woman #1] must live nearby; we regularly see her in her mobility scooter or the scooter parked outside one of the takeaways. She is a bit of a menace on it; she drives around at full pelt everywhere, on and off the road, in and out of people, and she gets very aggressive and defensive if you dare to call her out on it.

As the schools are letting out, I walk by and see an accident. I go over to see if I can help.

When I get there, a boy is still on the ground and [Woman #1] is sat on her scooter, arms folded, arguing with a woman who doesn’t appear to be the boy’s mother.

Woman #1: “He should look where he is going.”

Boy: *Through tears* “I wasn’t even going anywhere.”

Woman #1: *Shouting* “I need to go to the doctor! People like you need to watch where you are going!”

Woman #2: “Don’t shout at him! Even if he got in your way, you were going way too fast.”

Boy: *Sobbing* “I didn’t! I didn’t get in her way.”

I spot a teacher and wave him over.

Teacher: “[Boy], what happened? Are you okay?”

Me: “He was stood on his bike when [Woman #1] crashed into him. She saw him and didn’t even try to slow down.”

Woman #1: “Lies! You’re just picking on me!”

Me: “I’m sure there are a dozen other people who saw the same thing I did. Might want to call someone; this isn’t the first accident she has caused.”

[Woman #1] continued to shout at me, the teacher, the boy, and the other woman for some time. Eventually, the boy’s mum turned up at the same time as the police. The teacher and I each gave a statement, and they asked a few onlookers who told them what they saw.

I can only guess that the mum didn’t press charges, but [Woman #1] lost her scooter, and the world is at least slightly safer for everyone in the school and neighbourhood.

His Theft Was Only A Smashing Success For His Nose

, , , , , | Legal | September 24, 2021

One night, around midnight, I realized that I’d left a book in my truck, so I headed out to retrieve it. As I stepped out the door, I spotted someone trying to wiggle out from under my truck in my driveway. At first, I thought it was a dog or something, but then he shifted into the light enough for me to realize it was a man. I shouted, and he managed to wiggle his way out and try to run off, only to trip and slam face-first into the short brick wall that borders our yard. He managed to stagger up and vault the wall, running off, but he obviously broke his nose or something, given the blood splatter that was left on the wall where he hit.

I checked under my truck and quickly worked out he’d been trying to cut off the catalytic converter, leaving some damage to the exhaust. I managed to get that patched up, shuffled some things around so I had enough space to actually pull my truck into the garage, and felt that would be the end of it. I made a report to the police and moved on.

But then, around three days after it happened, a brick got thrown through my front window with a note tied to it, telling me that I would be in “big legal problems” if I didn’t pay for the “medical damages” I’d caused, and listing a PO box that I was supposed to send a check to.

Naturally, I did not do that. Instead, I called the police and provided them with the note as well as my suspicions about what it was regarding. And, it turns out, that was enough of a lead for them to track the guy down. They got me to come in to identify him, and he was apparently linked to several other thefts and break-ins in the area. So, off he went to jail.

But wait, it doesn’t stop there. About a month after all of this happened, I came out to find a paper taped to my front door. On it was a picture of a sad-looking kid and the sentence, “I hope u proudlee like that u make child cry for papa.” It took me a second to figure out what the h*** this was talking about, but once it clicked, I took a pen and wrote, “Very, very proudly,” on the bottom of the paper, and then left it taped on the outside of the brick wall, right about the point where the would-be thief broke his nose.

The paper was gone within a couple of days. I don’t know if one of the neighbors saw it and took it down, but I like to think that whoever posted it came by and got to see that I wasn’t shedding any tears that her “baby daddy” or whatever was in jail.

Someone This Stupid Should Not Be Behind The Wheel

, , , , , | Legal | September 22, 2021

My friend is a police officer. He and his partner are driving behind a car that isn’t doing much to attract their attention, but their onboard computer tells them that the owner’s driving licence has been suspended for multiple DUI offences.

They pull the car over for a licence check, and the young man driving explains that it is his mother’s car and she allows him to use it. That’s no problem, but just to make sure, they ask for his licence as identification.

The Provisional Licence — one step up from a Learner’s Permit — he only had for three months has been cancelled for many unpaid speeding fines.

Police Officer: “Since you are driving without a valid licence, we are impounding the vehicle.”

Young Man: “Do you have to? I need to take the car home so that my mother will have it to go to work tomorrow.”

Police Officer: *Stunned* “You want me to let you drive home tonight, without a licence, so that your mother can drive to work tomorrow, also without a licence?”

The young man apparently doesn’t see any problem with this.

Young Man: “Yes, that would be very good of you. It would save me getting told off by my mom and she wouldn’t stop me borrowing the car.”

The officer turns to his partner, who is trying to stifle a laugh.

Police Officer: “It’s not funny!”

Trying not to laugh himself, he shakes his head and turns to the young man.

Police Officer: “I think we had better take you into the station and have a long talk with you and your mother when she comes to get you.”

Thirty-Six Reasons To Find Another Victim

, , , , , , | Legal | September 20, 2021

I’m alone at home and my phone starts ringing.

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: “Hello, this is [Scammer] from [Phone Provider]. Your phone line will be cut within the next twenty-four hours, so we need you to phone our special number for further instructions.”

I’m working from home due to the sanitary situation, and losing my phone and my Internet would be a VERY bad thing for me. However, there’s something about this woman’s voice that screams “scam attempt.” She makes me write the special number down and it’s becoming obvious that it’s a premium rate number: if I phone them, I’ll lose a lot of money. I could just hang up now or tell her I’m not fooled, but I decide to play with her, instead.

Scammer: “So! You have our number!”

Me: “Yes! 06 26…”

Scammer: “No. I just said 00 26.”

Me: “00 36…”

Scammer: “No. 00 26…”

Me: “00 26…”

Scammer: “76…”

Me: “36…”

Scammer: “No! There’s no 36!”

Me: “How dare you say that? One of my coworkers is thirty-six, and she’s a truly wonderful person!”

Scammer: “There’s no thirty-six in this phone number. Let’s resume.”

Me: “Okay, let’s resume, but please, don’t insult the number thirty-six.”

Scammer: “Goodbye.”

She hung up. I waited twenty-four hours and my line wasn’t cut. I guess it was definitely a scam attempt.

Car-Free Makes Him Too Care-Free, Part 2

, , , | Legal | September 18, 2021

I’m the author of this story, and based on the reactions, I thought some of you might like this story of my dad.

This story took place a few years before the other story, when my dad had just started working at the hospital. To get to and from work, and around in general, he used a mo-ped, since he didn’t have enough money for a car yet. His daily commute would take him through an intersection with a very, VERY annoying stoplight for the bike lane. It. Would. Not. Turn. Green. At all. The intersection was a quiet one, so you can understand how frustrating it was to stand there, waiting, waiting, the minutes ticking by, while there was absolutely no other traffic around to justify the wait. Everyone who encountered that stoplight eventually gave up, looked left and right, and rode on, running the red light. No accidents ever happened, but…

Enter [Police Officer]. [Police Officer] knew about this stoplight and its annoying habit of staying red, and he knew that people would eventually get tired of waiting and run the red light. He would hide near the intersection, catch people running the red light, and fine them accordingly. Pleas that the stoplight was malfunctioning, that no-one got hurt, or that the victim really had to get to work, fell on deaf ears. They ran the red light and that is against the law, so they got fined. It was, in his eyes, a nice way to fulfil his fine-quotum. (Yes, this was a thing back then.)

Except my dad, on his illegally souped-up mo-ped, refused to stop for this guy after the first ticket and managed to escape his ticket-trap every single time because he was much faster. (My dad was, and in many ways still is, a brat with major authority issues and zero empathy who thought this all great fun. It was neither his first nor his last run-in with the law, but it was never severe enough to land him in court, except one time and that was deemed self-defence. Anyway…)

[Police Officer] was understandably very annoyed by my dad’s antics and became determined to catch him, which only made my dad more determined to escape him. He was unable to avoid that intersection. It was either too close to his home or his workplace; I can’t recall which.

One day, [Police Officer] finally managed to collar my dad and gleefully began writing him a ticket. Dad’s temper got the better of him and he ranted at [Police Officer] a bit, finishing with an insult that I think was rather inspired.

Dad: “You are a perspectiveless man in a perspectiveless job!” 

“U bent een inzichtloze man met een uitzichtloze baan!” It doesn’t translate too well.

Police Officer: “Yeah, whatever, here’s your ticket. Pay it within two weeks, or it’ll be court!”

Dad decided to be petty and wait until the very last day to pay his ticket… and it’s a good thing he did, because two days before the pay-by date, he got a nice, official letter. It stated that, because of the Royal Wedding between then-Crown-Princess Beatrix and Prince Claus, the government decided to pardon all minor traffic offences as a gift to the people. The royal house, and the wedding, were not very popular back then, so I guess they were trying to score a few points. So, because Bea got hitched, Dad didn’t have to pay his ticket. To this day, he still laughs when picturing the face of [Police Officer] when he heard about this.

That stoplight finally got fixed not long after that, and [Police Officer] had to find a new way to get his kicks. Also, just to clarify something: my dad and his coworker from the previous story were not medical staff; they worked in the hospital’s kitchen. Make of that what you will. Also, for the people wondering why my dad would tell his coworker not to insult cops when he did it himself: my dad has both zero empathy and a temper he can’t control well, so even though he knew insulting the cop would probably make things worse, he basically couldn’t help himself. And when it happened to his coworker, he just didn’t care.

Related:
Car-Free Makes Him Too Care-Free