Monthly Roundup: January 2019

| Friendly Healthy Hopeless Learning Legal Related Right Romantic Working | February 6, 2019

It’s time for the January roundup! Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in January deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the 862 stories we posted in the month, we’ve singled out fifteen.

If there are any stories from the last month you feel we should have included, please let us know in the comments!

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite stories in the poll below! Note: You can choose up to three*. The winner of the previous roundup poll was You Can’t Dismiss The Karma On This One, from the Working category!

That Free Meal Cost Dearly – This will be our best spineless manager story of 2019.

An Alarming Lack Of Overstock – When there is no back room but they don’t believe you, then show them!

Needs To Reorient Their Detective Skills – Some people are married to more than just the job.

Leaning On Management To Improve – Nothing tastes better than their own medicine.

When The Customer Is Not Always Right, Everything Else Is – When new management doesn’t take BS from customers, it’s time to get some popcorn and watch the entitlement implosion!

Run-Ons Have Run On For Too Long – A teacher who actually teaches is a real teaching moment.

Good Decisions Save Lives, And Money! – Best driving policy ever!

Put Your Money Where Your Thoughts And Prayers Are – Funny how those that claim to know what God wants always say He wants what they want.

See How Nice It Is When The Customer Isn’t Always Right? – When the boss calls out the customers’ entitlement… well… we hope you still have some popcorn left!

She Has To Live Somewhere Else, But At Least She Will Be Living – Anti-Vaxxers should get the “Extra Stupid” tag but that would be too obvious.

Hot Enough To Burn – When those comebacks you think of later are perfectly timed.

Don’t Freeze Under Lack Of Management – When time is money is you need to make time to manage.

Hasn’t Done Math Since The Fifties, Or Changed His Attitude, Either – Calculate how out of touch these people are.

Not A Defective Loophole – If you have a stupid policy, expect someone to come up with a clever loophole.

Parental Advice Is Always Welcome But Not Always Up To Date – These days “pounding the pavement” means pounding the keyboard.

Please choose your favorite story of the month!

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*Not Always Hopeless stories are not included in the poll. This is because often they are so lovely they win by default. 

We’ve decided to separate our favorite ‘Hopeless’ story of the month from the section above, since it’s not part of the poll:

The Cat Is Gone In A Creampuff – Some cats have nine lives, others make just the one really special.

Could Have Become A Powder Keg

, , , , | Legal | February 5, 2019

Years ago, after my first husband passed away, I was cleaning out his closet and found some half-used cans of various gunpowders used for making his own ammunition.  

I figured I wouldn’t be able to sell it once it was opened, and didn’t know anyone at that time who made their own bullets, so I decided to give it to the firearms officer at our local police station.

Standing in line for my turn, there was only one other person waiting: a very large biker guy with full-colour leathers who was behind me.

When it was my turn, I approached the desk with my arm outstretched holding a large, brown paper bag. “I need to give you this gun powder,” I said.

The lady’s eyes grew large as she stepped back. At the same time, I notice the large biker guy out of the side of my eye moving slowly back toward the door. “Let me get someone,” she said, ditching around the corner.

In that moment, I realized it probably was not a very smart move bringing a bag of gun powder into the police station unannounced. Ultimately, they decided to accept it as a ‘Lost and Found’ object and let me go on my way. Note to self…

Agree With Her Sentiment, Not Her Method

, , , , , , | Legal | February 4, 2019

(I am in a sporting goods store, picking up a shotgun I bought the day before. After signing the paperwork to take it home and getting it out the door, some woman is giving me a dirty look as I walk out of the store with the box. She decides to follow me to my car. After putting it in the trunk and closing it, she starts confronting me out of nowhere, demanding I give up the gun I just bought.)

Woman: “I’m going to have to ask you to give up your gun.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “Your gun. Give it up; you shouldn’t have it.”

Me: “And what makes you think I shouldn’t?”

Woman: “You’re not a cop or a soldier so you shouldn’t have one.”

Me: “And what are you going to do if I don’t?”

Woman: “I’ll call the police and watch them forcibly take it from you.”

Me: “Go ahead and call the police. And I’ll watch them put you in handcuffs for not only harassing me but infringing on my Second Amendment right.”

(She called the police and in five minutes they were there. I’m guessing they were nearby.)

Cop: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Woman: “This man has a gun in the trunk of his car and refuses to give it up.”

Cop: “Miss, calm down and let me talk to him and we’ll get this all straightened out.”

(He talks to me:)

Cop: “Sir, please open your trunk so I can what the problem is.”

(I open the trunk and the cop sees the box that has the gun it. I still have the receipt in hand so I show it to him. He inspects it and sees nothing wrong.)

Cop: “Okay, this checks out. You purchased it yesterday and waited the twenty-four hours to pick it up. So what appears to be the problem here?”

Woman: “He’s not a cop.”

Cop: “How do you know that?”

Woman: “He’s not in uniform.”

Cop: “So? He could be off duty.”

Woman: “He shouldn’t own one.”

(The cop turns to me again.)

Cop: “Sir, I hate to ask but can see a form of ID and your FOID card?”

(The Firearm Owner’s Identification card is required in Illinois.)

Me: “No problem, officer.”

(I hand him both and he examines them.)

Cop: “Well, miss, he is of age to buy one and this FOID card — which is pretty recent — allows him to own it, so I don’t see a problem here.”

Woman: “What about the background check? I bet he didn’t pass it.”

Cop: “Miss, if he didn’t pass a background check he wouldn’t have left the store with that gun let alone even have that FOID card.”

Woman: “Well, I bet he lied about it just to have it.”

Cop: “Look, miss, I don’t care about what you think because right now you are harassing this man and wasting my time, both of which are arrestable offenses.”

Woman: “I am not leaving until you do your job and take his gun away.”

Cop: “Miss, he has down nothing to warrant that. Now, final warning: leave it alone or I will arrest you.”

Woman: “No. Guns are evil and no one should own them.”

(She was arrested right there. The cop apologized to me for the trouble and told me to be safe getting home. Glad the cop actually did show up otherwise that could’ve gone on forever.)

You Are A Car, I Am A Bus: Your Move

, , , , | Legal | February 3, 2019

My stepmom is a bus driver. One day she’s driving in a village where she has to make a tight right-hand turn into a one-way street. While she’s halfway into this manoeuvre a car comes down this one-way street, completely ignoring all road traffic legislations.

The driver, a man, is signing to my stepmom that she needs to get out of his way. But my stepmom has seen this behaviour many times before and isn’t going to reverse the bus. She’s inching forward while this man does the same. Soon they are bumper to bumper. The man starts honking and getting more and more aggravated.

My stepmom turns off the bus engine and tells the passengers they’re going to be a bit late.

The passengers are fine with it, telling my stepmom she can take as long as she needs.

The man gets out of the car and begins banging on the window. My stepmom calls the traffic controller asking them to call the police. By now, the road in which the back of the bus still is is completely blocked with cars, a few tractors, and a truck. The truck driver goes to check what’s the problem.

He tells the driver of the car, that’s by now trying to get into the bus, that he has to move. The man starts lunging at the truck driver. Police arrive and the man immediately tries to hit them, too. He’s arrested on the spot. A policeman moves the car and my stepmom, with all passengers, can move on.

She later heard the man thought the rules didn’t apply to him and it wasn’t the first time he’d done this. He lost his driver’s license over this latest episode and he had to pay a fine to the truck driver for assault.

Gun Controlling The Situation

, , , , | Legal Right | February 3, 2019

(Years ago, I played in church orchestra with a guy who occasionally packed a gun. His wife said he’d sometimes plop down on a metal folding chair with a clank from the gun. This guy was also pretty small — maybe 5’4″, 163 cm, tall. One day he is going into a convenience store and the clerk is locking the door as he goes in.)

Friend: “What’s going on?”

Clerk: “Dude back there has been shoplifting. I’ve already called the police.”

(My friend pays for his gas, and about that time the crook has found himself locked in. The shouting with the clerk quickly escalates into a knock-down, drag-out fight. My friend just stands next to the popcorn machine in the store and nibbles a little popcorn and watches the fight like it is a show. In the end, the clerk manages to wallop the guy over the head with a bottle and he goes down. The clerk came to my friend:)

Clerk: “Why didn’t you help me?”

Friend: “Why? You looked like you were doing pretty good.”

Clerk: “Yeah, but if I wasn’t, he was coming after you next.”

Friend: *pulling the pistol from his pocket* “No, he wasn’t.”

Clerk: *shocked* “You got a license for that thing?”

Friend: “Nope.”

Clerk: *unlocking the door* “Get out of here before the cops get here!”

(I love crazy people.)

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