Legacy Issues

The software that we sell is not subscription-based, but buy once. They come with a year of free tech support. A caller is having an issue and needs to be walked through installing a patch update.

Me: “Okay, sir, as your product is older than a year, I’m going to need to bill your account $20 for this fix. Please acknowledge this and—”

Caller: “Excuuuuuse me?! I will do no such thing! You will help me for free!”

Me: “Sir, since you have an older version of the software and you’re choosing not to purchase the latest version, this is the only way to keep your product viable.”

Caller: “I have been a loyal customer for years, and you will do this for me for free!”

Me: “Sir, you’re using the 2008 version of our software and are trying to keep it running in 2025. You haven’t spent a penny on us for seventeen years. Your options are to spend $550 on the 2025 version, or $20 to keep your current version on life support a little longer.”

Caller: “…Fine. But your program sucks anyway.”

Then why have you been using it for seventeen years?!