Leaving The Conversation Wide Open

(My boyfriend and I are going to turn in some insurance forms to our college health center for admission purposes. As we’re walking, we find ourselves behind a group of students.)

Student #1: “Oh, [Student #2], you got a new water bottle.”

Student #2: “Yeah, I broke my old one. I’m keeping it in my pocket so I don’t break this one.”

(My boyfriend and I look over and see that, yes, he has a large plastic sports bottle sticking out of his pocket. We go back to our conversation until we hear the unmistakable sound of plastic hitting the ground.)

Student #2: “F*** me in the butthole!”

(We all giggle at his over reaction as he picks up the bottle and water drips everywhere from the open spout.)

Student #2: “Why do I always leave it open?!”

Student #3: “You’re not helping your case, dude.”

(My boyfriend and I broke down in laughter.)