Leaving No Room(mate) For Interpretation

(Coworker #1 is roommates with Coworker #2, who always works on a different shift at the coffee shop. This particular day, the Coworker #2 is running late.)

Coworker #3: “Isn’t [Coworker #2] meant to be in at six am? We shouldn’t have just two of us here when you go, [Coworker #1].”

Coworker #1: “Oh, my freaking god. I have no idea where [Coworker #2] is. I do not keep track of her. I do not know where she is. I am her roommate; I am not her mum; I am not her wife. If she could learn to turn the damn lights off when she leaves the house, I probably wouldn’t even know if she ever comes home.”

(A customer who is nearby grabbing sugar packets for her coffee starts laughing.)

Customer: “I’m really sorry, but that is the most teenager thing I’ve ever heard. Good luck with your roommate.”