Knowledge Starved

, , | Learning | March 8, 2018

Child #1: “Ugh. I am so hungry, I’m Hank Marvin.”

Child #2: “Who’s Hank Marvin?”

Child #1: “I dunno, some scientist who discovered foods.”

Push Up And Beyond

, , , , , , | Learning | March 7, 2018

My best friend and I had a particular loathing for high school gym class. Our teacher was one of those strict, no-nonsense types who was pretty much always yelling. The worst part was push-ups. Whenever we did them, everyone always laughed at me and said it looked like I was humping the ground, but the teacher never said what I was doing wrong, so I had to keep doing it that way, which didn’t help my already low self-esteem. Thankfully, I only needed to endure it for a year to get the mandatory credit.

Fast forward a few years, and I decide I want to get more into shape. I decide to try push-ups again. This time I get the idea to ask my father — a former gymnast — for advice. I demonstrate what I’ve been doing my whole life, and he tells me that since girls have a different center of gravity, because of the extra weight in the chest area, it’s better for girls to start by keeping their knees on the ground until they build up their strength. I had essentially been doing advanced-level push-ups my whole life, and nobody, not even the gym teacher — who should have known this –had bothered to correct me.

My friend, who also didn’t know about the knee thing, took the words right out of my mouth when I told her about this: “I’m gonna kill her.”

Comes With Extra Playing Positions

, , , , , | Learning | March 7, 2018

I’m teaching a video-making summer camp with seven- to ten-year-olds. On the last day, I decide to bring in board games and things from my house for them to play with, since they have all mostly finished their videos and need to wait for me to edit them.

One of the things I bring is “Truth or Dare” Jenga. I only kind of glance at the box, and tell the kids they don’t need to do the Truth or Dare part, just the Jenga part.

After a few minutes, I see one of the kids kiss a girl’s hand and ask what they’re doing, and they say they’re doing the dares on the Truth or Dare Jenga. I decide to investigate and look more closely at the Jenga pieces. Turns out, they are Truth or Dare Jenga pieces for adults to use in the bedroom. I take them away and give the kids a different game to play after that, but thank goodness I looked!

Not So Absent Minded

, , , | Learning | March 6, 2018

(As an English as a Second Language teacher, sometimes I run into differences in academic culture, not just in language. This is a composite of conversations my fellow teachers and I have had time and time again:)

Student: “Miss, why do I have so many absences?”

Teacher: “You missed the first week of class, which gave you five absences.”

Student: “But, Miss, I was with my family in Dubai.”

Teacher: “That means you’re absent; you weren’t in school.”

Student: “How can I be absent? I wasn’t even in the country.”

Teacher: “You were absent because you weren’t in my class.”

Student: “But I don’t want to be absent.”

Teacher: *bangs head on desk*

Not Quite Elevating The Students’ Impression Of Adults

, , , , | Learning | March 6, 2018

(My seventh-grade class goes on a trip to cities in our state with places significant to our state history. We are staying in a hotel that is a century old, and has the slowest elevators. Our grade has resorted to using both the service elevator and the one public elevator that works. It is the last day after breakfast and everyone has rushed upstairs to pack. There are about 15 students left waiting for the elevators, along with about six adult strangers. When the elevator finally arrives, we let the adults go first before crowding in, but one man gets caught behind us.)

Man’s Wife: “Excuse me. My husband has a meeting he needs to get to. Let him in, please.”

(We back up for him and start coming in after him. Keep in mind that with 50 of us, all 5’5” and under, we’ve crammed the whole group into the elevators the entire trip. We also have about 15 minutes left before our bus needs to leave. There are about six of us left when the wife speaks up.)

Man’s Wife: “Let my husband in. He has a meeting he needs to get to. You have nothing to do. Just wait and go away.”

(All of us were shocked, as we knew we could all fit, but the elevator left before we could do anything. Needless to say, the six of us were the last ones downstairs.)

Page 4/1,240First...23456...Last
« Previous
Next »