Their Writing Is A Write-Off

, , , , , | Learning | October 14, 2017

I am a writer for a magazine with a large, general audience. We publish a lot of profiles of college professors, and we always send them the final draft for “source review.” They can make sure their information is correct and that they are okay with any speech quotes that we’ve included. Many forget that the magazine’s writers are not their students and return the drafts without doing what we ask, but instead leaving comments, adding citations, and applying academic styles.

One took the cake, though.

I sent the profile for his review and he returned it with large sections completely cut, others rewritten to match his diction, footnotes added, and longer quotes from him that constituted half of the piece. It was essentially a list of block-quotes with a few citations and PhD-level vocabulary. To top it off, he sent me the document in an email that said, “Don’t be worried about using my writing; I don’t mind!”

We did not use his writing, his footnotes, or his giant block-quotes.

Virgo-ing On Awkwardness

, , , , , | Learning | October 13, 2017

(A classmate’s birthday was earlier this week.)

Teacher: “My birthday’s tomorrow, guys.”

Student: “My sister’s birthday is tomorrow.”

Teacher: “Oh! So you’re both virgins! Virgos!” *runs out of room*

Too Lazy To Hide The Obvious

, , , , , , | Learning | October 13, 2017

At 22, I decide to go back to college and get some much-needed A-Levels, since I have none.

During the length of my course, we cover numerous topics, including one on politics and government. Perhaps because I am older and therefore more aware of the things that go on in the world, I tend to find this class rather easy.

Perhaps one of the best moments is when I and the laziest member of the class are asked to do presentation on a political party. It just so happens we get the BNP, which, for those unaware, is a very right wing party in the UK that is associated with very racist ideals. I do all my slides, and at about 9:00 pm before the deadline, my partner calls me to admit he hasn’t done any work. I don’t really panic; I just stick in a few slides to cover his work and figure he can sink or swim.

The next morning, we give our presentation, and my tutor calls it the best of the lot and praises the content and the delivery.

The next year, the lazy classmate is not invited back for the second part of the course, and I have a conversation with my tutor, who explains that the current group hasn’t done anything near as good. I own up and admit that the lazy classmate didn’t do anything, and that I did it all.

The tutor responded, “Oh, I knew as soon as you stood up that he hadn’t done anything; he never handed in a single piece of coursework. I knew it was all your work and that he was just reading the info on the slides. All the praise was meant for you, because, honestly, that guy wouldn’t scratch his own a*** if he thought he could get someone else to do it for him.”

“Inside” Your Mind

, , , | Learning | October 13, 2017

(I’m a middle school teacher and we’re getting back into the swing of things after summer vacation. When it’s nice outside, we really try to encourage the kids to go outside for recess, and that’s where we station our supervision. We do get some kids who try to sneak back in, and that’s where this exchange happens, after I hear some kids running in the hall.)

Me: “Hey, guys. What do you need? Are you going to the bathroom?”

Kid #1: “Uhhhh, no.”

Me: “Okay.”

Kid #2: “We’re just getting some water.” *drinks from fountain*

Me: “Great idea! Have fun outside. It’s sooo beautiful out.”

(Shortly after, I walk toward another entrance and see them inside again, trying to sweet talk a support worker into letting them stay inside. The support worker is telling them “no” when I round the corner.)

Me: “Hey, guys! Saying ‘hi’ to [Support Worker]?”

Kid #1: *shocked to see me* “Uh, yeah, and then we’re heading outside.”

Me: “Awesome! Have fun; it’s soooo beautiful outside.”

(As they are heading outside, one of the kids turns to their friend and says what they think I can’t hear.)

Kid #2: “Hey, let’s try the door by [Other Teacher]. We can hide in her classroom, too.”

(I wave to them until the door is closed and then book it to the other side of the school where that door is. I wait behind a wall, where they can’t see me, until I hear the door open and see them walk up.)

Me: “HOWDY!”

Kid #1 and #2: “WHAT THE F***!”

That’s Your Opinion But No One Asked For It

, , , | Learning | October 12, 2017

That’s Your Opinion But No One Asked For It

 

Middle School, Canada

 

(I teach grade seven, which means I do get a lot of hormonal kids. The best is those that want to be seen as adults, so they pick little fights to showcase their independence. This is amplified by the end of the year with one female student.)

 

Me: “Okay, [Student], remember that survey we did? You had great answers; I just need you to add some missing details.”

 

Student: “Why do I have to add more? I’m done with this. You can’t make me change my opinion; it’s my opinion.”

 

Me: “I didn’t ask you to change your opinion; I’m just saying we need more examples with your work. See here: you wrote a great answer, but the survey asked for an example of how you showcased your answer in the course.”

 

Student: “But it’s my opinion; that’s what I wanted to write. Why do I have to change it?”

 

(The best incident is after a fun field trip for a high school event. One of the high school teachers gives the teachers a bunch of toys to give our kids. This happens when I’m about to give out the toys.)

Me: “Mrs. [Teacher] gave you guys some gifts, which was really nice of her.”

Student: “Ugh, I hate that teacher.”

Me: “I didn’t ask you how you felt about her. I was saying she gave us gifts. Let’s listen—”

Student: “Well, that’s my opinion. You can’t get mad at me for having an opinion.”

Me: “Again, did I say, ‘you need to change your opinion’? No. I said, ‘you need to listen,’ and I didn’t ask what your opinion was, either.”

Student: *yelling* “But it’s my opinion!”

Me: “Okay, you know what? Go to the office.”

Student: “What?”

Me: “You’re distracting others and the lesson with this. Go sit at the study carrel and come back when you’re ready to listen.”

Student: *goes and grabs the office pass in anger* “WHY ARE YOU ALLOWED TO TELL ME TO GO AWAY BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU TO GO AWAY!?”

(She eventually did calm down, but no one was ever trying to get her to change her opinion.)

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