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Stories from school and college

Someone Has Major Issues

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m a peer advisor at my college, which includes figuring out what the student is looking for to best service them before we send them to an advisor. This conversation happens about 4-5 times a month.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Student: “I want to talk to an advisor.”

Me: “Okay, about general education requirements or major requirements?”

Student: “Major requirements.”

Me: “Okay, for that you actually have to go to the major department and meet with an advisor there. We can only cover general education requirements here.”

Student: “But I want to speak to an advisor.”

Me: “Yeah, but for that you have to speak to someone in that department.”

Student: “Okay. Well, where is it?”

Me: “The department?”

Student: “That’s what I said.”

Me: “Well, what’s your major?”

Student: “Can I please just speak to an advisor?”

Me: “Well, I can’t help you figure out where that is until you tell me what your major is.”

Student: “I just want to talk to someone! Can’t I just see someone here?”

Me: “Well, like I said, we can only advise you on your general education requirements, so—”

Student: “Yes! That’s what I want to talk to someone about!”

Me: “Okay, let me sign you in. Someone will be with you in just a bit.”

(The student signs in and huffs off to a seat to wait. A coworker of mine takes the student after I’ve warned him about what happened. Less than a minute later, I see the student stomping out of our office. My coworker comes back to the front desk.)

Me: “Major requirements?”

Coworker: “Yup.”

No, Not That Kind Of Flash Pass

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m working during a night shift. A girl enters the lobby in her pajamas.)

Student: “Um, hi. I’ve locked myself out of my room.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. As you know, the access fee is £5.”

Student: “Yes, I know, but I don’t have any money with me. Everything is in my room.”

Me: “Well, I can’t let you back in until we get £5 from you, but I can take it from your deposit if you like.”

Student: “No, no! You can’t do that. My mum will kill me!”

Me: “It’s either that, or you give me £5 cash right now. There is no alternative.”

(The girl awkwardly pauses.)

Student: “Are you sure?”

(The girl gives him a cheeky look before taking off her top completely, exposing her naked front. I stare in shock, before quickly regaining my composure.)

Me: “Well, those are very nice. Now, that’ll be £5 please.”

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

Not A Shred Of Intelligence

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

(My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

Me: “What happened?!”

Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

Makeup Quiz For A Madeup Flu

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(A student who has missed class and calls me a day later to explain her absence.)

Student: “I need to take the quiz I missed yesterday.”

Me: “Remember, quizzes cannot be made up.”

Student: “I missed class yesterday because my son is sick.”

Little voice in the background: “Momma, I’m sick?”