Teacher: “Tell us about Stalin.”

Student: “Well, he was Russian—”

Teacher: “No, he wasn’t! He was born in Georgia. Georgia’s not Russia, even though both countries would be part of the Soviet Union…”

(The teacher goes on a five-minute rant about not treating Russia as a synonym of the USSR.)

Teacher: “It’s really awful! This is the umpteenth time I find such level of ignorance in England.”

Student: “I’m sorry, teacher, but we’re in Wales, and Wales is not in England, even though they’re both in the UK, just like Georgia’s not in Russia, even though they were both part of the USSR!”

(I am in sixth grade. We are having a highly ineffective anti-bullying class meeting. As student responds to me bringing up the fact that gay students are targets of bullying at the school.)

Student: “I just don’t get why you guys have to be so dramatic about everything. You aren’t being bullied or whatever. If you have to be gross, it’s okay that we make fun of you.”

Me: “You’re not even pretending to be tolerant, are you? See, in my opinion, tolerance is pretty important—”

Teacher: “[My name]!”

Me: “…yeah?”

Teacher: “You’re using awfully big words for someone your age, aren’t you? I don’t think anyone here understands what you are trying to say!”

Me: “Um, we’re in middle school, not elementary. I really think they—”

Teacher: “Let’s have a survey. Raise your hand if you know the word ‘tolerance.'”

(About 30% of my classmates raise their hands.)

Teacher: “See?”

Me: *sigh*

(I am in a physiological psychology class. We’re in the middle of the unit giving an overview of brain function, and the professor explains to the class that he may have a lead on bringing in an actual human brain for the next day’s lecture. At the next class, he walks in with a cooler with a biohazard label on it, facemask, gloves, and so on. He makes a big show of getting his gloves on.)

Professor: “Alright class! You can probably guess what’s in here. Now let me get this out.”

(The professor reaches into the cooler and lifts something up, giving the class a brief glimpse of the round and wrinkled grey-pink top of the brain contained inside before letting it slip back inside.)

Professor: “Hold on, what’s it catching on? C’mon out, you!”

(He continues to wrestle with the allegedly stuck brain in the cooler, failing to extract it. Finally, he peels his gloves off and hurls them into the trashcan.)

Student #1: “Uh, shouldn’t those be… I mean…”

Student #2: *aghast* “That’s supposed to go in a hazardous waste container, not the trash can!”

Professor: *winks* “I won’t tell if you won’t!”

(He reaches back into the cooler, now barehanded, and continues to have trouble extracting the contents. I figure he’s pranking the class, but enjoy watching my classmates who haven’t clued in.)

Professor: “…You know what? Forget that.”

(He grabs a spoon, stabs it into the cooler, coming out with a spoonful of the grey-pinkish substance, and eats it. The class is absolutely horrified and grossed-out.)

Professor: “Mmm. Delicious. Anybody else want some?”

Student #3: “That is disgusting and—”

(The professor removes the ‘brain’ from the cooler, revealing it to be not a real brain at all, but peach jello made with condensed milk. Best professor ever!)

(My politics class has only four students. I am the only person, including the teacher, who is consistently on time for the lesson. We’re studying American politics, and through an incredible coincidence, our last lesson of the year is on the 4th of July. I am sitting alone in the room when the teacher walks in, holding a plate of cookies.)

Me: “Hi, sir. Are those cookies?”

Teacher: “I said we were going to celebrate the Fourth of July, didn’t I?”

(He puts the cookies down. I grab one.)

Teacher: “Where are the others?”

Me: “No idea.”

Teacher: “Go look for them, will you?”

(I leave the room, cookie in hand. It doesn’t take long for me to find one of my classmates.)

Me: “Hey, [Classmate #1]! Sir’s looking for you.”

Classmate #1: “Where did you get that cookie?!”

Me: “Fourth of July party!”

Classmate #1: “What?!”

(She pulls out her phone and texts the other two, telling them to get to the lesson. We walk to the lesson and she takes a cookie. Not long afterwards, the other two students walk in.)

Classmate #2: “We thought you were joking, [Classmate #1]!”

(They each grab cookies and sit down. The teacher then checks the clock. We’re all earlier than we usually are.)

Teacher: “I need to bring cookies to the lesson more often.”

(I’m an elementary education major, observing in a kindergarten classroom. One little girl waves me over, looking very excited.)

Little Girl: “Miss [my name]? You know my dreams?”

(I nod, but can’t get words out before she continues.)

Little Girl: “You’re in ’em. You’re always the one that fights the dragons!”

(I almost cry; it was the best compliment I’d ever received, hands down!)