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Stories from school and college

Cutty Out The Attitude

, , , , , | Learning Right | November 23, 2009

(I am working in a kindergarten where over half of the kids are Maori. The Maori word for scissors is ‘kutikuti,’ which is pronounced ‘cutty cutty’.)

Me: *to a child* “Can you pass me the kutikuti please?”

Mother: “What did you say to my child?”

Me: “I asked her to pass me the scissors.”

Mother: “Don’t talk baby to my child. She’s smart enough to use adult words.”

Me: “I wasn’t. I was using the Maori name for scissors.”

Mother: “No, you said cutty cutty. That’s not Maori. I’m Maori, and I think I know Maori when I hear it.”

(The child interrupts. She grabs her mom by the hand and drags her off to a poster on the wall which has a few art objects and their Maori names under them.)

Child: “Mom, why do you always have to pick fights with people? I’m very disappointed in you!”

(When her mother left I gave the kid the biggest sticker I could find to put on her good behaviour chart.)


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

14 Times Aquarium Customers Made You Wish You Were Out At Sea

 

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Helping The Needy

, , , , | Learning | October 31, 2009

(To make the day more interesting, I am asking the prospective students about their Halloween.)

Me: “So how was your Halloween? Did you dress up?”

Student Caller: “I was Spock, of course.”

Me: “Awesome. Live long and prosper.”

Student Caller: “The needs of the many…”

Me: “…are greater than the needs of the few.”

Student Caller: “Or the one.”

*long pause*

Student Caller: “Marry me?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Student Caller: “What, is this moving too fast for you? Okay, how about a date? Coffee? I can be there in four hours!”

Me: “Uhh… I don’t think this is appropriate. If you have any questions, you can call the office of admissions-”

Student Caller: “Wait! I need to tell my mom I’ve met the future Mrs. Finkler!”

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Please God, Let These Be Rhetorical Questions

, | Learning Right | April 7, 2009

Student: “Yeah, there’s something wrong with my academic transcript.”

Me: “Oh, okay. What’s wrong with it?”

Student: “It’s got fails on it.”

(I start looking up his record on the database.)

Me: “Yeah, I can see the fails. Did you pass those subjects?”

Student: “No.”

Me: “Okay, so you failed the subjects, and now they’re on your record as fails. That’s normally how it works.”

Student: “Well, yeah… but can’t you, like, take them off? It looks bad!”

Me: “…”

Student: “How am I going to get a job?!”

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Natural Born Politician

, , , , , | Learning Right | July 19, 2008

(I overheard this from a school group at a theme park.)

Student: “God, these stupid lines are so long!”

Teacher: “If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Student: “I mean… these great lines are just long enough that we miss everything!”


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Fortunately, Stupidity Is Not Tax Deductible

, | Learning | April 15, 2008

(During a heated debate in my Sociology class about the pros and cons of immigration, the discussion turned to illegal immigration.)

Student: “I pay my taxes. If I have to pay sales tax, I think they should too!”

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