(I work as a TA at a very large university. I have just finished my bachelor’s, and am starting my master’s, which means I am not that much older than my students. The undergraduate students I have are well-behaved… mostly.)

Undergraduate Student: “Hey [Name]! I have a question!”

Me: “Yes?”

Undergraduate Student: “How old are you?”

Me: “Um, I’m 22.”

Undergraduate Student: “Oh… so you’re old.”

(I am flabbergasted. I wonder if he realizes that I grade his exams!)

(I worked as a cashier in the most popular dining hall on my college campus. Most of the student employees are graduating that year, and stop pulling their weight at work toward the end of the semester, which puts a lot of stress on the few of us that still want to work. We are often understaffed, and the customers aren’t too polite about long lines or struggling service. Since I am at the register, I get yelled at a lot by the students. It is about an hour into a particularly difficult night.)

Student: “Hey, you!”

Me: “Yes?”

Student: “What’s your name?”

Me: “It’s [Name].”

Student: “Alright, [Name]. Do you have a pen? I want to fill out this dining experience response card.”

Me: “Of course. Did you have a problem? I’d be happy to help.”

Student: “Oh, no, there’s no problem! I just wanted to thank you. You’re always smiling when I come in, no matter how hectic it is in here. And you always look me in the eye and greet me and ask me how I am. I failed the last test before the final in one of my classes a few weeks ago, and when I came in here after, you said I looked down and asked me if I was okay, and you really sounded like you cared. I really appreciated it. I just want to make sure the manager knows you’re doing a great job.”

Me: *near tears* “Oh… oh my gosh, thank you! That’s so sweet of you to say!”

Student: “Well you looked like you were having a rough day, so I wanted to let you know I appreciate you working so hard.”

(After getting the comment card, my manager thanked me for doing such a good job, and bought me $10 worth of food from the attached mini market!)

(I’m a college senior attending a ‘Portfolio Day’ where representatives from art schools come to review prospective students’ portfolios and assess their eligibility for their respective schools. The booth I’m at is for a state school, and the representative has been hemming and hawing over my portfolio.)

Representative: “Well, I just don’t know. I’m not really ‘getting’ who you are as an artist from all of this. It’s sort of all over the place, you know?”

Me: *crestfallen* “I suppose so…”

Representative: “I mean, it’s not AWFUL or anything, but I’m just not sure if you’re the best fit for [college]. Well, here, let’s look at your test scores and see how you measure up on general requirements, okay?”

Me: “Okay.”

Representative: “Well, it says here that you scored a 1460 on the SAT. That’s on the 2400 scale, right?”

(I received two SAT scores, one out of 1600, and one out of 2400.)

Me: *slightly affronted* “No! That was on the 1600 scale! My 2400 score was 2190!”

Representative: “You scored a 1460 out of 1600?”

Me: “Yes!”

Representative: “That’s really high.”

(There is a long pause as the rep processes this.)

Representative: “Well we’d just LOVE to have you join us at [college]!”

(I wound up having much better luck at another, out-of-state school, who liked my art as well as my high test scores. I’ve since graduated with a BA.)

(I am waiting outside the classroom where my class is going to be held, since the previous class is still inside. Finally, the door opens and the previous class starts to leave. One guy from my class recognizes another guy from the class just coming out.)

Guy #1: “Hey man!”

Guy #2: “Hey [Guy #1]!”

Guy #1: “What class were you coming from?”

Guy #2: “Oh, analytical chemistry. We were learning about quantifying uncertainty today.”

Guy #1: “So, you learn anything?”

(Guy #2 pauses and frowns.)

Guy #2: “I’m… uncertain.”

(I’m studying for a degree in communication design. We’re at a workshop to practice making associations and firing up ideas through observation. We have a Thai classmate whose English isn’t great, but loves to contribute in class anyway.)

Tutor: “Let’s think about a bus stop. What can we see there?”

Classmate #1: “Signs.”

Classmate #2: “Route maps.”

Classmate #3: “Seats.”

Thai Classmate: “The semen floor.”

(Everyone in class is shocked, including the tutor, who goes bright red. The class bursts into laughter.)

Tutor: “Sorry [Thai Classmate), what do you mean?”

Thai Classmate: “You know the semen floor? Semen?”

Tutor: “Hmmm. I’m not sure.”

Thai Classmate: *confused* “You know the semen floor? The semen floor! The grey things on the floor!” *pointing downwards*

Tutor: “Oh! You mean the cement floor!”