Chauvinists To The Right Of Them, Chauvinists To The Left Of Them

, , , | Learning | August 28, 2012

(I’m in a college bookstore looking for used textbooks. I’ve already got one textbook when I’m approached by another customer. Note: I’m female, and the other customer is male.)

Customer: “Hey! You took the book I need!”

Me: “Oh, there are other copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “That’s the cheapest used copy! I saw it earlier and I was coming back for it!”

Me: “Umm… well, I’m sorry if I seem unsympathetic, but why didn’t you just buy it earlier?”

Customer: “Because, I was running late for class! Now, give it!” *holds out his hand*

Me: “Umm… no. I’m sorry, but I’m purchasing this book because I need it for my own classes. There are other copies, so…”

Customer: *stomps his foot* “You give me that book and you give it right now! No girl can ever understand that subject, anyway!”

(Overhearing the commotion, an employee walks up.)

Employee: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “It’s no big deal. I just grabbed this copy of the textbook, and for some reason he doesn’t want to grab one of the other ones on the shelf.”

Employee: “I wasn’t asking you.” *to the male customer* “What’s going on?”

Customer: “She took the cheapest used copy of that textbook. Girls are too r*****ed to understand that subject, so she can’t have that book! Tell her to give it to me NOW!”

Employee: *to me* “He’s right. That subject is awfully hard, you know. Much too hard for girls. Shouldn’t you take the intro class?”

Me: “First, I already have taken the intro class. Second, I don’t find it that difficult to understand, just fascinating. Third, I want to talk to your manager!”

Employee: “No. Just hand over the book, little girl.”

Me: *rolling eyes* “Toodles, boys. You’re not worth my time…”

(I went to the register and was rung through by another young man who was much more polite. He *did* call the manager for me, and I explained the situation. The manager called the employee over and fired him on the spot. When he saw the other customer, it turned out that guy worked in the store, too, and he was also fired.)

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It’s Hard Work When You’re Hardly Working

, , , | Learning | July 26, 2012

(My friend, who is a bit ditzy and lazy, has just started at an on-campus work program at the college library. She meets up with me at the cafeteria after work.)

Friend: “Work was so bad today. I didn’t even get a chance to sit down and play on the computer.”

Me: “Well, you should be working anyway, not watching videos.”

Friend: “Usually we don’t get much problems with people. Some people can be so rude!”

Me: “Okay, what happened?”

Friend: “Today a big group of guys came into the library and got A LOT of books.”

Me: “All right, well—”

Friend: “Then when they were done reading,they either left their books on the table…”

Me: “Well—”

Friend: “…or they put them on the WRONG shelf.”

Me: “Yes—”

Friend: “…or even on the right shelf, but NOT the right place!”

Me: “Well, you—”

Friend: “I think they personally did that on purpose to mess with me. Like, another group came and sort of did the same thing. I mean, how rude are they?! They can’t even bother to put books away in the right spot!”

Me: “So, you are mad that people didn’t put the books back in the right order?”

Friend: “Well, duh!”

Me: “So you are mad because you think these people are doing this just to spite you?”

Friend: “Well, yeah! They got A LOT of books out, and I had to put them ALL away. Normally I get to like read my book or look on the web, since I normally don’t have much to do.”

Me: “You do realize you work in the library. You should be working, not just sitting and reading. Isn’t one of the jobs you have there putting the books away on the shelves?”

Friend: “Well, yeah! What’s your point?!”

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Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

, , , , | Learning Right | October 27, 2011

(I work in the testing center for a community college. We administer placement exams and make-up exams, among other things. This particular student is taking his placement exam.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I have you set up on that computer over there.” *points to computer* “Just finish filling in your personal information and the test will begin.”

Student: “Okay, thanks.”

(About forty-five minutes go by as the student goes through the exam. I then see him raise his hand, so I stand up and walk over to his computer.)

Me: “Is there something wrong?”

Student: “Yeah, it’s telling me that I’m about to start the arithmetic test.”

Me: “Yes, that is part of the placement exam.”

Student: “But I’m supposed to be taking a math test, not an arithmetic test!”

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Finals At Hogwarts

, , | Learning | October 18, 2010

(One of my students was absent the day of a test and she has had just handed it in.)

Me: “Okay, class. Now that [Student] has done the test, I can give you them back.”

(I hand out the test papers.)

Student: “Where’s mine?”

Me: “You just did yours today. I’ll have it back to you tomorrow.”

Student: “But you just said!”

Me: “How was I supposed to mark it in five minutes?”

Student: *completely serious* “Doesn’t it just automatically mark itself?”

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At Least His Answer Is In The Right Aria

, , , , , , , , | Learning Right | October 14, 2010

(I am giving a tour of the opera house to a group of fifth-graders. We are backstage and we pass a large service elevator, generally used to transport grand pianos, costume racks, etc.)

Me: “So, guys, who can think of a reason why the opera needs such a big elevator?”

*silence*

Kid In The Back: “Because there are REALLY BIG PEOPLE in operas!”


This story is part of our “Kids say embarrassing things” roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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