Stories from school and college

Obviously, They Prefer Fartissimo

, | Learning | March 12, 2013

(In music, “pianissimo” means “very quiet”. It is abbreviated as “PP” on sheet music and scores. Currently, I am teaching a student who always pounds the keys, no matter what dynamic level is indicated.)

Student: “Oh no! This has PP!”

Me: “Yep, it’s a quiet piece.”

Student: “I hate PP! It’s too hard to do. I can’t do PP!”

Me: “Sounds like a personal problem to me, buddy…”

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Freedom Of Screech

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m an Admissions Officer and am working at a college fair. We are not religiously affiliated. I run into an alum.)

Me: “Hi, is your daughter interested in [college]?”

Alum: “I’m an alum. Class of ’83.”

Me: “Fantastic!  I’m Class of ’04. Can I answer any questions for you?”

Alum: “I won’t be letting my daughter look here. I have some issues with how [college] is being run. God is not happy with you, and neither am I.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you’d like, I’d be happy to take your comment back to the Vice President of-”

Alum: “Are you aware that you let in students with liberal views and speakers with socialist leanings?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a great deal of speakers on campus with a variety of view points.”

Alum: “The school has gone downhill since we let in those people! So I’ve stopped giving money. You can take that back to them. You’ll no longer see my $25 a year.”

Me: “Ma’am, as an alum myself, I’m proud to have graduated from a school that encourages both freedom of thought and speech in our students and speakers.”

Alum: “You don’t need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you.”

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You Just Got Schooled

, | Learning | March 12, 2013

(This happens to a coworker after having an issue with an order.)

Customer: “That took long enough. This is why you should have gone to college!”

Coworker: “I’m only 16.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t have dropped out, then!”

Coworker: “I didn’t. I’m still in school.”

Customer: “I… uh… have a nice day.” *leaves embarrassed*

 

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The Klass Of 2015

, , , , | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”

Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*

Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”

Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*

Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”

Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”

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Another Tragic Hair Disaster

| Learning | March 12, 2013

(The phone rings five minutes before the end of the school day.)

Parent: *very distressed* “You’ll have to help me, please help!”

Me: “What on earth has happened? How can I help?”

Parent: “It’s an emergency! There’s been a disaster! You have to help me!”

Me: “Calm down and tell me what has happened. I’ll do my best to help”.

Parent: “I can’t get there to pick up [name of her child]. It’s an emergency!”

Me: “Don’t worry about her, I’ll keep an eye on her here at school. She can come home with me if need be. Is there anything else can do? What has happened?”

Parent: “It’s my hair, it’s turned out orange!”

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