(I’m a brony (male fan of My Little Pony). I’m also interested in Japanese names and cultures. During Japanese class, our class was told to use some form of Japanese name for the rest of the year. I’m dressed in a white shirt.)

Student #1: “I’ll just call myself ‘Ching Chong’ or something.”

Student #2: “Aw, man! That’s what I was going to call myself!”

Me: “You do realize both those names don’t exist, right? There’s plenty of names to use.”

Student #1: “Shut up, nerd! You don’t know anything about Japanese!”

Me: *in Japanese* “You dare challenge me?”

Student #2: “What the f*** did you just say?”

Me: *in Swedish* “‘You dare challenge me’ in Japanese.”

Student #1: “No. You didn’t! You just made up some words!”

(At this point, the teacher enters the room.)

Teacher: “Alright. What are you guys gonna call yourself?”

(We get to choose our names according to our class list. I’m in the middle of the list. So far, most people don’t know what to call themselves and just make up names.)

Teacher: “Well then, [Name]. What are you going to be called for the rest of the year?”

Me: “Shiro Kishi.” *literally, ‘White Knight’*

Teacher: “Oh? That’s… an interesting name. Sounds a bit like someone from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, does it not?”

Me: “That’s right.”

(The two people from earlier drops their jaws at this point as the teacher is known to be super strict. I look at a girl next to me who’s dressed completely in black and who has been looking at me during the entire conversation.)

Me: *in Japanese, to the girl* “I’m Shiro Kishi. Just call me Shiro.”

Girl: *in Japanese* “If you’re the White Knight, then I’ll call myself Kuro Kishi.” *literally, ‘Black Knight’* “Just call me Kuro!”

Teacher: “I need to take a note to give both of you an ‘A’ for the rest of the year, Kuro, Shiro.”

Me: “Arigato, sensei.”

(The girl and I started dating after that lesson. It turns out she was also a fan of ‘My Little Pony.’ The teacher, she, and I enjoyed discussing the latest episode in Japanese during class just to piss the bullies of the class off.)

(I am an adjunct professor at a technical university. I teach computer programming. My exams are open book/open notes. If a student doesn’t have a grasp of the material, no amount of notes will help. I review right before an exam, and I will deliberately leave some of the answers on the board.)

Student: *looking pointedly at the whiteboard* “Um, professor [My Name]?” *gestures towards the board* “Umm?”

Me: “Yes. I know.”

(That student did very well on all my exams. Some others caught on later in the term.)

(I had just given a speech about why gay marriage should be legal in every state in the US. I mention some of the strange marriages in the world.)

Female Teacher: “You forgot to mention Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage.”

Me: “I know. I also forgot to mention that a woman married the Berlin Wall.”

Male Teacher: “How does someone marry the Berlin Wall?”

Me: “I’ve no clue, but she was married to it.”

Male Teacher: “Well, in that case I’m going to marry sausage pizza.”

Me: “You better be willing to share.”

(My sister’s daughter goes to a middle school where they require a uniform to be worn during PE. A few weeks into the new school year, my sister checks my daughter’s grades online to find that she’s failing PE. She calls the PE teacher.)

Sister: “Why is my daughter failing PE?”

Teacher: “She refuses to wear the uniform during PE. Every day she doesn’t wear the uniform she is docked.”

Sister: “I ordered the uniform from the school. My understanding is they are on backorder.”

Teacher: “Yes. They are. We expect them here in a couple of weeks.”

Sister: “So if the school doesn’t have enough uniforms for my daughter, why are you docking her for not wearing them?”

Teacher: “Well, that’s two separate issues. She needs to wear the uniform to PE.”

Sister: “How is she, when she doesn’t have one, and the school is out?”

Teacher: “Oh… The list of students that have uniforms on backorder is on a different piece of paper than the docking list. So I didn’t connect the two.”

Sister: “So you’ll fix her grade since she doesn’t have a uniform to wear?”

Teacher: “That’s a good point… I’ll remove the docks to her grade until the school can provide her a uniform to wear.”

(The bad thing is the same teacher had been docking all of the kids on the backorder list. It’s just that my sister is very vigilant about keeping on top of my niece’s grades!)

(Our teacher is a young woman in a wheelchair who always wears long-sleeved tops, even in summer. This semester there has been a problem with one of the taller boys picking on a younger girl.)

Teacher: “Class, I need to talk about bullying today.”

Bully: “Did [Girl] snitch?”

(The girl looks really frightened and I begin to worry.)

Teacher: “No, it’s the curriculum. Please, settle down and I’ll talk.”

Bully: “You do realize you can’t physically do anything to stop me? I can do what I want here and you can’t stop me?”

(The teacher leaves the classroom just before recess. I see one of the other teachers drive her away. When she comes back, she is wearing a different top and unbuttoned coat.)

Me: *to friend* “What’s she doing?”

Friend: “I don’t know. Maybe she got her top dirty.”

(In class, she wheels to the front of the room and looks very serious.)

Teacher: “Now class, I think I need to talk more about bullying. It is NOT a good thing, and it traumatizes children.”

Bully: “Yeah, but what you gonna do about it?”

(Wordlessly, the teacher takes her coat off and we gasp. Along her arms are lots of tiny scars. She looks a bit upset but I can see she’s trying to be strong.)

Teacher: “How about my wheelchair?”

(She gets a PowerPoint presentation out and shows herself on the screen. It is an old photograph of herself aged about ten on a chair in a princess outfit. She’s smiling and not using the wheelchair. And the next is of her sitting down at a party table with long sleeves. The last photograph is of her in her wheelchair at her graduation ceremony. The teacher then stops the PowerPoint and gets the last picture up on the main screen. She clicks a remote so the picture enhances. We see bags under her eyes, a tiny scar on her hand holding the degree and – most shocking – red marks around the middle of her neck.)

Me: “Miss? Are you okay?”

(She looks away from the screen, a little startled.)

Teacher: “You see class, bullying is NOT OKAY. I was lucky they noticed it before it went too far. Two more minutes though…” *she suddenly snaps out of whatever she thought of* “And the thing is, you have to be strong. Don’t let them pressure you into hurting yourself. Because they win.”

(The bully immediately runs out of the classroom. We don’t see him again since he was expelled for other things besides bullying. That was five years ago. Now that I’ve graduated, I keep thinking about how strong my teacher was in that last photograph and how she still tried to keep herself going. Thank you, miss, if you’re reading this. You’re amazing.)