(I cut my hair really short because I am super self-conscious about my looks. I also have no interest in dating so it is a great way to keep guys from being interested. I am talking with my friends.)

Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “That group of girls has been following me almost all week! What is their problem?!”

Friend: “I dunno. I’ll go find out.”

(He wanders over to the group of girls while I try to talk to the rest of my friends about some school project. My friend returns, barely able to walk from laughing so hard and throws his arm around my shoulders.)

Friend: *trying to stop his laughing* “So, [My Name], you see that group of lovely ladies?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Friend: “And do you see how they giggle as you look their way?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Friend: “Those lovely ladies are wanting to ask you out.”

Me: *confused* “So… they are lesbians?”

Friend: *laughing harder* “THEY THINK YOU’RE A GUY!”

Me: *staring blankly before grinning evilly* “Oh, really? I think I can solve that!”

(The next day I arrive at school wearing a full length trench coat that covers all of my body. My friends are curious but say nothing. I overhear the group of girls.)

Girl #1: “Oh, my god! Look at how hot he looks!”

Girl #2: “I never thought I would like a bad boy, but he’s so hot in that black leather!”

(I unzip my coat and let it drop to the floor revealing a black mini skirt, fishnet stockings, knee-high leather boots, and a skin-tight black shirt that shows off that I have curves. The group of girls gasp in unison.)

Friend: “Oh, sweet mother of god.”

Girl #1: “OH, MY GOD! HE’S A GIRL!”

(The group of girls scream and run for the girls’ restroom.)

Friend: “That was the most glorious thing I have ever seen.”

(It’s April Fool’s day. My wood-work teacher finds it fit to prank a student.)

Wood-Work Teacher: “[Student], can you fetch me a fallopian tube from [Math Teacher]?”

Student: “Sure thing.”

(The student leaves the class, and is gone for about 10 minutes, and returns looking embarrassed and annoyed.)

Wood-Work Teacher: “What did [Math Teacher] say?”

Student: “She sent me to [Textiles Teacher], then she told me to go to [Media Teacher], and then I got sent to [Science Teacher].”

Wood-Work Teacher: “And he told you what it was?”

Student: “Yeah…”

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(My history professor is a bit odd. One of my classmates missed the previous class but is now back. Upon noticing this…)

Professor: “Miss [Name], you’re among the living! That’s marvelous!”

(This occurs in a class of about 60 students, days after the polls closed in the 2008 presidential election.)

Professor: “Who here voted in this election?”

(Nearly every single student raises their hand.)

Professor: “Wow! See, young people really are starting to vote and be involved! I’m impressed.”

Student: “Ma’am? This is a senior level political science class. We’re probably not the best sample group to represent our demographic.”

Professor: “Oh, right.”

(I’m walking back from lunch when a girl from the IT class comes up to talk to me. This girl happens to be a very vocal feminist.)

IT Girl: “Hey, [My name]! I just heard they’re starting to have an honor grad for the IT classes like they used to! There’s never been a female IT honor grad, so I’ve been trying to talk to the instructors about awarding it to one of us this time so that it’s fair.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. In honor of equality, you think they should award a female as honor grad even if she’s not the top student, instead of a male who is? Yeah, that seems totally logical.”

IT Girl: *not getting the sarcasm dripping from my voice* “Yeah! I knew you’d agree with me, because you’re such a strong female, too!”