(I have a math teacher who is also a Sunday school teacher at my family’s church. She is that sort who is prim and always makes us speak to her before being allowed to the restroom. This happens as I was on my monthly.)

Me: “I’d like the pass to use the ladies’ room, please.”

Teacher: “You need to finish your work. Sit down and you can go when the bell rings.”

Me: “No, I really need to go now. I can’t wait.”

Teacher: “Fine!” *hands me the pass* “But be quick.”

(I pick up my purse, but she stops me and says very loud:)

Teacher: “You don’t need your purse to head to the bathroom! Sit down and stop trying to get out of class early.”

Me: “I didn’t mean to make you think I was getting out of class early.” *embarrassed now, I pull the necessary items out of my purse* “May I go now?”

Teacher: *giving me a disgusted look and still being loud* “You should have told me you were on your period. Go and hurry up!”

(That weekend, she talks to my class about the sins of Eve and keeps giving me nasty looks as she talks about how Eve is forced to bleed and deal with childbirth. I’m furious about it, so when Monday rolls around, I approach her desk.)

Me: *being loud* “I need to go to the restroom to deal with Eve’s horrific sin. God have mercy on my soul for suffering through her misgivings as a woman!”

Teacher: *turns red and hands me the pass* “You don’t have to tell me all of that! Just to go to the restroom!”

(She didn’t bother me about the pass anymore after that, but my family soon stopped going to that church and eventually moved me to another school.)

(I am a twin, and our names are rather similar. I have just gotten my grades and am shocked to find I have received a ‘D’ in gym class. I go to the teacher.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure why I got a ‘D’ in class?”

Teacher: “Well, you never dress for class and always find a way to not participate.”

Me: *shocked* “What do you mean?! I always dress, and I might not be the most athletic but I try!”

Teacher: “You never dress for your fourth period class.”

Me: “Sir… I don’t have fourth period gym. I have it first. Wait! Sir, you DO realize I am a twin right? [Sister] has gym fourth period.”

(The teacher ACTUALLY thought I had gym twice a day and only dressed for the first period. Once he checked the names he adjusted my grade and apologized repeatedly!)

(I am in Chemistry class. My teacher is giving a lesson on Boyle’s law, and how air volume and pressure are related.)

Teacher: “So, if the volume of the air in the system is decreased, the pressure of the air increases. Like so.”

(She then grabs a potato gun from under her desk and fires it at one of my classmates! He screams and falls back over-dramatically, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. The rest of the class starts laughing. I’m the only one who notices her start to walk out of the room.)

Me: “Miss, where are you going?”

Teacher: “I’m going hunting! The rest of you are welcome to tag along. Just stay quiet.”

(The entire class gets up and starts following her. The rest of the lesson was simply watching her sneak into other classrooms and shooting other teachers with the potato gun!)

(Today, the children are drinking hot chocolate while learning about cocoa and chocolate. It takes a while to give hot chocolate to all of them, so I decide to quiz them to keep them entertained.)

Me: “Okay, so now you know where chocolate comes from. Who can tell me where milk comes from?”

Children: *in unison* “From cows!”

Me: “Great. Do you know any other animal whose milk we use?”

Child #1: “Goats! Sheep”

Me: “You are really good. Tell me now: what is the name of the female of the sheep?”

Child #2: “Wool!”

(It was really hard not to crack up laughing!)

(Our biology professor is very easily annoyed. A very loud student has been disrupting the class for over half an hour.)

Loud Student: “Hey, professor—”

Professor: “You are an asthmatic duck flying backwards.” *goes on with lesson*