(I am a 20-year-old girl. For my theater class I pair up with a guy of similar age for a scene. We are practicing a scene in the evening in a not-so-well lit part of campus, preparing for class. It feels hopeless because despite the scene being between a husband and wife in the middle of a fight, we keep laughing. Finally, we manage to get through the scene without laughing.)

Me: “YES! We did it!”

Scene Partner: “All right!”

(We high five as two guys walk towards us.)

Guy #1: “You two were just acting? Oh, man.”

Guy #2: *looks at my scene partner* “We thought we were going to have to kick your a**!”

(My scene partner and I laugh.)

Me: “Oh, dude, THANK YOU!”

Scene Partner: “Best compliment EVER!”

(I write for my campus newspaper. We have our own building, but it isn’t in the best condition. One day, a construction worker working next door comes in to use our bathroom. Our editor is there doing some work as well.)

Construction Worker: “You know those lights are broken, right?”

Editor: “What lights?”

Construction Worker: “Those lights.” *points to the ceiling*

Editor: “We have lights up there?”

Construction Worker: “How long have they been out?”

Editor: “I’ve been here for over three years now and I didn’t even know they were there. That’s how long they’ve been out.”

(The lights eventually got fixed.)

(My biology professor is discussing a test we had last week.)

Professor: “A lot of you wrote that bacteria are found only in dead organisms. Since I’m 100 percent sure that you and I have some bacterial activity going on in our bodies right now, I guess this means that zombie apocalypse has already happened.”

(In my school, you are required to take either Latin or Ancient Greek. After having had Latin for years in middle school, they make me take Greek. Our class was made up of two girls and a native Greek guy. This guy always tell my best friend and me to get back in the kitchen, to stop trying to flirt with him, etc. We are doing a translation from the book out loud.)

Teacher: “[Greek Student], can you take the next paragraph?”

([Greek Student] reads the paragraph, but he mistranslates a verb the same way several times.)

Teacher: “That was good, but you missed one word every time. Can anyone tell me which one?”

(I raise my hand, translate it, and explain why it was translated that way.)

Teacher: “Very good, [My Name].”

Greek Student: *mocking* “Oh, [My Name], goddess of wisdom. ‘Smarter than everyone else’ jerk. My master of the universe.”

(At this point, I grab my copy of the textbook and chuck it across the room, hitting him in the face.)

Me: “Actually, [Greek Student], I’m your mistress.”

(There’s dead silence for a moment.)

Teacher: “I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen since he had it coming…”

(In my government class, we are learning about the First Amendment and how schools can restrict the rights of students. In one supreme court case, a student was suspended for holding a ‘bong hits 4 Jesus’ sign along the Olympic torch route.)

Teacher: “Even though this student obviously just wanted to attract attention, the supreme court decided that he was promoting drug use so the suspension was constitutional. Are any of you really dumb enough that ‘bong hits 4 Jesus’ would convince you to smoke pot? I mean, maybe if he had a better slogan—”

(Students start calling out.)

Student #1: “Cannabis for Christ!”

Student #2: “Mary Jane for Mother Mary!”

Student #3: “Joints for Jesus!”

Student #4: “High for the Highest Power!”

Student #5: “Bud for the Babe!”