An Ach-Tongue Lashing

| Learning | May 1, 2013

(Our school has just hired a new German teacher and my class is the first to get her for lessons. The following happens in the second week of term following the first test we had. As we were all new to the language the test was pretty easy, such as how to spell German in German (“Deutsch”). The teacher begins handing back tests we just took.)

Teacher: “So you all did pretty well; though there was one issue.”

(The teacher stops behind one of the boys in the class.)

Teacher: “[Student’s name], how do you spell German in German?”

Student: “I don’t know.”

Teacher: *to student* “Stand up and go outside!”

(The teacher props our classroom door open so we can hear what is being said. Note that our class was on the second floor.)

Teacher: “I want you to run up and down these stairs five times and spell out the word – D.E.U.T.S.C.H – one letter per step.”

(Our teacher stayed with the boy whilst he spelt it out twice correctly before coming back into the class. As far as I know, no one ever forgot how to spell Deutsch after that!)

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This Student Has A Singular Mind

| Learning | April 30, 2013

Student #1: “So, what if I opened this window and an eagle flew onto my arm?”

Student #2: “Yeah! You could name it Charles!”

Student #3: “Actually, that would be two eagles.”

(Students #1 and #2 look at her blankly.)

Student #3: “Because ‘Charles’ is plural.”

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What You See Is What You Frat

, | Learning | April 30, 2013

(I’m in the cafeteria, eating lunch with my fraternity. I am completely, 100% blind, and my fraternity and I often joke about it in good fun.)

Fraternity Brother: “You should totally put on my glasses so we can see how they look on you.”

Me: “Sure.”

(My fraternity brother hands me his glasses and I put them on.)

Me: “Oh my goodness! I can SEE!”

Several Fraternity Brothers: *excitedly* “Seriously!?”

Me: “No. Just kidding!”

(The entire table erupts in laughter.)

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Adorably Audubon

| Learning | April 30, 2013

Girl: “Do birds have eyelids?”

Boy: “Yeah, I think they do. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen birds blink before.”

Girl: “Do you think they close their eyes when they fly? I mean, the wind gets in your eyes and all.”

Boy: “Hmmm. No, I don’t think they close their eyes.”

Girl: “Oh right. Because their eyes are on the sides of their faces.”

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Rum That By Me Again

| Learning | April 29, 2013

(I go to a small college that only has freshman and sophomores, so everyone on campus is 18 to 20 years old. We’ve also got a dry campus policy. My chemistry professor is trying to explain something about phase diagrams.)

Professor: “So, you know when you go to the supermarket, and in the frozen foods department they’ve got the little frozen things of apple juice, and orange juice, and Bacardi, but you guys don’t buy the Bacardi—”

Student: “Yeah, because it’s a dry campus!”

Professor: “…and also you’re all underage. Did we forget about that one?”

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