Wherever Knowledge Is Distributed

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Learning | March 12, 2013

Me: “Can I help you?”

Student: “I can’t find my professor’s office.”

Me: “Do you have an office number?”

Student: “Yeah. It’s 412.”

Me: “Well, that’s just down the hallway.”

Student: “I tried. That’s not his office.”

Me: “Is he a political science professor or a modern languages professor?

Student: “Neither. Geology.”

Me: “Are you sure he’s in this building?”

Student: “No.”

Me: “What building is he in?”

Student: “I don’t know.”

Me: “There are lots of buildings on campus.”

Student: “I know.”

Me: “What made you think it was this one?”

Student: “I don’t know…”

Totally, Like, Excruciatus

| Hazel Grove, NY, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

(Two girls enter the bookstore. I recognize them as being two ditzy girls from my English class.)

Me: “Hey, [Girl #1] and [Girl #2], what’s up? I didn’t think you guys liked hanging out in bookshops?”

Girl #1: *giggles* “Duh! Did you like think that we’re geeks or something?”

Girl #2: “Like, duh, I’m just looking for this book for my sister.”

(Said sister happens to be one of my good friends.)

Me: “Oh, what book does Jen want?”

Girl #2: “It’s like, this book with some totally geeky wizards or something.”

Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter? She’s already got those books.”

Girl #2: “Like, no duh! It’s like, written by some totally old-ish chick named Jane or something. It’s like, about this chick named Emma.”

Me:Emma by Jane Austen hasn’t got any wizards.”

Girl #2: “Ain’t Emma that witch or something? That nerdy, bushy-haired one?”

Me: “That’s Hermione Granger. Her actress is Emma Watson.”

Girl #2: *huffing* “What-EVER! I’m like, so totally out of here, you geek!”

No Proof In Purchase

| Wiltshire, England, UK | Learning | March 11, 2013

(We have a school prom in our function room. Whenever we have a prom, we run a ‘dry’ bar. We will not serve the students at the main bar. One of the teachers approaches the bar and slams a bottle down on the counter.)

Teacher: “I just took this from one of my students. He is 16!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

Teacher: “This is a disgrace; you’ve broken the law. Who served him! Was it you?”

Me: “It’s a—”

Teacher: “I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I understand why you’re upset, but—”

Teacher: “We won’t have another prom here! Selling alcohol to kids—”

Me: “It’s a non alcoholic beer. There is no alcohol behind the bar tonight and no one here would serve anyone underage anyway.”

Teacher: “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I’d better give this back to him.”

Home Doesn’t Always Work

| Midlands, UK | Learning | March 11, 2013

(I am a year 5 class teacher. I’m dismissing my class of nine and ten year olds at the end of the day when a mother approaches me.)

Mother: “My son’s not been doing his homework!”

Me: “I know. He hasn’t handed his homework in for several weeks now.”

Mother: “Well, I’m not very happy about this!”

Me: “No, nor am I.”

Mother: “So, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “I can’t make him do his homework. His homework is to be completed at home.”

Mother: “Why?”

PEBCAK, Episode VI

| MO, USA | Learning | March 11, 2013

(I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

(I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

(I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

(The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

 

Page 1,208/1,213First...1,2061,2071,2081,2091,210...Last
« Previous
Next »