Se Habla Mexicañol

Learning | May 8, 2013

(I’m in an introductory Spanish course. We are working in pairs to fill out information about different Spanish-speaking countries.)

Me: “Okay, so the capital of Mexico is Mexico City and the currency is the peso.”

Partner: “Uh… what’s the ‘language?’ Mexican?”

Me: *thinking he is joking* “Of course, ‘Mexican,’ since it’s not like we are in Spanish class or anything.”

Partner: “Whoa, I was right?”

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One Headache Deserves Another

Learning | May 8, 2013

(I’ve been having a horrible day due to a failed test, an hour of sleep, and a headache. I get to my Economics class, where I get along well with everyone except for an annoying kid.)


Me: “[Annoying Kid], can you please be quiet? I’m trying to work.”

(The annoying kid continues screaming and starts singing the school song.)

Me: “[Annoying Kid], please be quiet. I have a bit of a headache and you aren’t making it better.”

(The annoying kid starts yelling to his friend that sits right next to him, who yells back.)

Me: “[Annoying Kid]!”

Annoying Kid: “You’re so mean and uptight!”

(Finally I’m fed up and I grab my book and wack him hard on the back of his head. The room gets extremely quiet.)

Me: “Would you idiots shut up, grow up and be a little more respectful of others?”

Annoying Kid: “Oh, [my name]! Why are you so mean? You might have given me a concussion!”

(At this point, our teacher walks in.)

Annoying Kid: “Miss [Teacher]! [My name] hit my head and gave me a concussion!”

Teacher: *looks between him and I* “D***, I wish I had seen it.”

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Be Sure To Copy The Right Copy

Learning | May 7, 2013

(I am handing back test papers.)

Student: “Why did you give me zero?”

Me: “There were multiple versions of the test. You had the right answers to one of the other versions.”

Student: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “The answers to version A and the answers too version B were not the same.”

Student: “I still don’t get it.”

Me: “Is it possible that you might have looked at someone else’s paper during the test?”

Student: “Well, yeah!”

Me: “They didn’t have the same test as you.”

Student: “So I failed?”

Me: “Yes.”

Student: “But I’ve never failed before.”

Me: “Now you have.”

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Schoolyard Of Broken Dreams

Learning | May 7, 2013

Student 1: “Before I came to uni, I wanted to be an astrophysicist.”

Student 2: “I wanted to be a geneticist.”

Student 3: “I wanted to be happy.”

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So Many Wheys To Milk A Pun

Learning | May 7, 2013

(It is the last week of classes where all assignments are due before finals. My friend and I are texting each other during an all-nighter as we try to complete our massive workload.)

Me: “I’ve reached the point where I don’t care if my points are cheesy; it gets the job done.”

Friend: “No! Cliche is a far worse fate than death!”

Me: “I said cheesy, not cliche. I mozza ask you to pay attention.”

Friend: “Don’t cheddar question my logic if you know what’s gouda for you!”

Me: “Cheese, your logic would brie nothing against mine. My logic comes from years of experience and from age.”

Friend: “Cheese, look at you. It’s a marble you’ve gotten so far with such pule logic. Mine is so much feta.”

Me: “Hey, don’t get fraishe with me! You butter quit while your ahead and brie thankful I don’t come over and break your parm for sage-esting that you are more sharp than mycella.”

Friend: “I bow to you, that was a thing of beauty. Truly, you’re a provolone. Cheddar luck next time. Alright, cheese puns are becoming grating. Leyden to rest.”

Friend: “I agree, we cottage stop.”

Me: “That could have be said feta.”

Friend: “You’re swissing the point.”

Me: “I didn’t mean much parm, just telling you it wasn’t very gouda.”

Friend: “Aura, that’s enough! Sorry to perail your puns, but urda stealing half of them from telemea.”

Me: “Urda cheese string and using an encyclopedia.”

Friend: “I just know moale about cheeses than you!”

Me: “You mozza looked up a list because I cheddar heard of telemea before and found it online. On a seperate note, I think I can finally go to bed. Gouda night!”

Friend: “You’re done?”

Me: “Yup, cheese whiz! That took forever.”

Friend: “Congrats, have the best sleep ever!”

Me: “I curdle ask for a butter reward.”

Friend:: “You can stop with the cheese puns now.”

Me: “Nope, cheese jokes will stick around for awhile. I mozza sleep it off!”

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