(I am sitting in a psychology class. My professor, who has a vaguely European accent, is briefly covering the different fields of psychological study in a slideshow.)

Professor: “Next we have social psychology. It is the study of how people behave in groups.”

(The slide changes to show a group of neo-Nazis.)

Professor: “That’s what I do.”

(She points at the slide and glances briefly, almost moving on before realizing.)

Professor: “No! The social psychology! I’m not a Nazi!”

(Fortunately, we all believed her.)

(I am in a film studies class, and we are filling out a table based on the structure of modern films. The third column in the table is entitled ‘Enigma’, meaning ‘problem’. Also, one of the films being discussed has a tagline on its poster saying ‘The True Story of a Heist Gone Wrong.’)

Friend: *pointing to column three* “What’s an enema?”

Me: *turning crimson* “I don’t really think I shou—”

(At this point, I notice the completely innocent look on her face and realise that she does not understand what she has just asked me.)

Me: “It’s pronounced ‘eNIGma’, but here’s what you just asked me…”

(I Google ‘enema’ and give her my phone. It doesn’t take her long to get the gist of the procedure, and she doubles over, laughing.)

Me: *laughing* “Imagine! ‘The True Story of an Enema Gone Wrong!'”

(My US history teacher has just handed out a rather difficult test. About five minutes into the test, he helps us all out by giving a quick hint.)

Teacher: “Everyone, I am going to help you out. Here are the answers to some of the questions: A, C, D, A, C, B, D, A, C, A, B. Now, they are not necessarily in that order…”

(There is a troublemaker student that likes to spout out random and gross things towards the teacher just for giggles. The teacher is discussing essay formatting and how to write them.)

Troublemaker Student: “Hey, I’m going to write my essay on my penis. How’s that sound?”

(Everyone looks at him and then at the teacher to see how she would respond.)

Teacher: “Well, then, it is going to be a very short essay.”

(Everyone laughed, including the troublemaker. The light-hearted retort did not upset him at all, but made him more careful about the things he says in class!)

(I am in seventh grade. In science class we are learning about the reproductive system.)

Teacher: “Say it with me now. You are mature enough to handle this. Penis.”

(My friend goes into a giggling fit.)

Teacher: “[Friend], go stand in the hallway and calm yourself down!”

(We continue with the lesson. Suddenly, over half an hour later we hear a sneeze from the hallway.)

Teacher: “S***, I forgot her!”