(I’m applying for university, and I have to get references from all my subject teachers.)

Maths Teacher: “I finished your reference. Here you go.”

Me: “Thank you! Oh… erm, I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know if I can use this.”

Maths Teacher: “What’s wrong with it?”

Me: “Well you’ve written “[My Name] sometimes struggles with maths and asks for help.”

Maths Teacher: “Well yes, remember two weeks ago when you asked the question about the homework assignment?”

Me: “… No?”

Maths Teacher: “Yes, you called me over to your desk and asked for help because you didn’t understand the homework assignment.”

Me: “Um… no. I called you over because you had marked three of my correct answers as incorrect.”

Maths Teacher: “Yeah, right. So you sometimes struggle and ask for help.”

Me: “Sir, asking you to correct mistakes that YOU made does not mean I struggle at this subject!”

Maths Teacher: “Well, whatever. Universities like this. It shows you’re not afraid to ask for help. Why are you so bothered by this, anyway?”

Me: “Because I’m applying to do a maths degree. I think the university is going to care about what my MATHS teacher says about my MATHS abilities when I’m applying to study maths!”

Maths Teacher: “I have a stack of references to write. Just blank that bit out if you’re going to make such a fuss!”

(I got the head of maths at my school to write my reference instead, and I got into university. Now I have a first class honours degree in maths. Not bad for a girl who ‘struggles’ with maths!)

(We have a guest lecturer for this class.)

Guest Lecturer: “I’ve been reliably told that the average adult attention span is now 10 minutes, so if I bore you feel free to go to sleep.”

Student Behind Me: “That’s my cue.”

(We are in science class.)

Teacher: “If I have a liquid, how can I change the volume of it?”

Student: “Pee in it.”

Teacher: “No…”

Student: “Pour some of it out.”

Teacher: “Correct.”

Student: “… and THEN pee in it.”

(Our professor is known to bully, tease, or intimidate students. He also states that grading starts at an ‘F’ and everyone must earn an ‘A.’ I am a senior and my project partner is very smart but meek freshman girl. I tell her that she should present our progress report.)

Partner: *nervously* “So my, uh, project is on…” *almost crying*

Professor: “This is too easy. Really now, who is your partner.”

(She points to me.)

Professor: “[My Name], did you make your partner present knowing she is so shy?”

(I just smile.)

Professor: “Get up here and explain your project.”

(I explain our project. Afterwards…)

Professor: “So you set her up knowing I would intimidate her.”

Me: “Yes.”

Professor: “And you knew I would give up.”

Me: “Yes. You are teaching sociology, after all.”

Professor: “Hmm, so really you were setting me up, Okay, for social engineering you earned an ‘A’, and your partner a ‘B.’ As for the rest of you, the bar is set, and you are still only at Cs.”

(I am a high school freshman. I have an English teacher who is favored by mostly everyone for his humor and the activities he often does. We are doing an assignment near the end of class.)

English Teacher: “Now, I remember some of you were asking about my dog…”

(Lo and behold, he is holding a puppy on a leash. Keep in mind; this is in the middle of the school day. The class starts an uproar as he lets the class come up and pet her. At the end of class, I approach him.)

Me: “How did you get the school to let you bring your dog into class?”

English Teacher: “They let me do a lot of things they don’t know about.”