Froshed & Confused

, | Birmingham, England, UK | Learning | April 2, 2013

(I work at the main library of a large university which requires you to swipe your student ID to enter. I’m working at the lending desk when a student comes over.)

Me: “Hi, are you okay there?”

Student: “What is this?”

Me: “This is the lending desk, wher—”

(The student points at my lanyard that holds my staff ID pass around my neck.)

Student: “Can I get one of those?”

Me: “Oh, sorrym we don’t sell these. Most people just keep their student ID in their wallet or their purse.”

Student: “In their purse?”

Me: “Yeah, you can keep it wherever you like. I’m sure if you wanted a lanyard you could buy one from somewhere else but we don’t have any for sale. I’m sorry, we just have them for staff use.”

Student: “This is my first day; what is this?”

Me: “This is the lending desk; did you need any help?”

Student: “Where are we? Is this place a book shop?”

Me: *confused* “No, it’s a library.”

(The student starts getting flustered.)

Me: “The whole building is a library.”

Student: “Oh.” *slowly backs away and runs out as if in danger*

Of Myths & Mathconceptions

| USA | Learning | April 1, 2013

Student 1: “Sensei, what are you studying in college?”

Me: “Computer Science.”

Student 1: “Ooh! Then you can tell me how to beat my computer game!”

Me: “Sorry, buddy, I can’t. I don’t play video games.”

Student 2: “Yeah, grown ups are too sophisticated for video games. They’re too busy. They have to do things like algebra and that stuff with symbols. Wait until you get to middle school… you’ll see!”

Do I Have To Spell It Out For You

| New York, USA | Learning | April 1, 2013

(Two of my friends walk up to an adult to sign out from lunch.)

Lady: “Where are you two going?”

Friend 1: “To the library. May we sign out?”

Lady: “Yes, what are your names?”

Friend 1: “My name is Francisco Olivera.”

Lady: “Okay, and you?”

Friend 2: “Ryan.”

Lady: “What’s that?”

Friend 2: “My name is Ryan.”

Lady: “I still didn’t get that…”

Friend 2: “MY NAME IS RYAN, R. Y. A. N., RYAN!”

Dean-unciation Dean-ied

, | Omaha, Nebraska, USA | Learning | April 1, 2013

(I’m an IT student worker at a university. My boss often slips in and out to troubleshoot and do other work on campus and leaves me to handle the office while he’s gone. The dean of the college walks in while my he’s out.)

Dean: “Where’s [boss’ name]?”

Me: “He’s out of the office at the moment.”

Dean: “I can see that. I mean, where is he?”

Me: “I’m not sure; he didn’t say when he left, but he will be back in about a half an hour.”

Dean: “What do you mean you don’t know? Didn’t you ask him?”

Me: “No, I didn’t. I assumed he had a good reason to leave.”

Dean: “I can’t believe he’d hire someone like you. You didn’t even ask where he went. How can he expect you to handle any problems that pop up?”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but [boss] will be back in a few minutes and you can ask him what you need. If you have a technology issue, I’d be happy to help; otherwise you can try his cell phone or shoot him an email.”

Dean: “Next time, be sure to ask him where he’s going. Don’t be so stupid.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, last week I received a letter signed by you saying I made the Dean’s List and the Chancellor’s List for academic honors.”

Dean: *slightly embarassed* “Oh… 4.0, huh?”

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Days Off Shouldn’t Be A-WOLk In The Park

| Finland | Learning | March 31, 2013

(I have a summer job at a business school arranging entry exams. Note that some exams take place at a sister school on the other side of the city. A young man approaches my desk.)

Young Man: “I need to know where I’m supposed to be.”

Me: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Young Man: “My name is [first and last name].”

Me: *looking at list* “Oh, I’m afraid you’re supposed to be taking your exam at [school across town]. There’s no way you’ll make it in time. You received an e-mail about this, right?”

Young Man: *laughing* “Yeah, I did, but I had no idea where that place was so I assumed it was here!”

Me: “Oh, that’s really too bad, but you’ll miss it now.”

Young Man: “Oh, that’s okay! I didn’t even want to study here. I just wanted a day off from the army while I came here to take test. Now I have the whole day off and don’t even need to waste time on the that!”

Me:: *a little confused* “Oh, that’s… good for you.”

Young Man: *skips away happily*

Coworker: *walks up to me* “Yeah, we get a couple of those every year. Not a bad scheme at all. I might actually try it sometime.”

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