(I’m at a camp for editing film. One of the counselors is having problems.)
Counselor: “Ah, screw it.”
Friend: “Whoa, language!”
Counselor: “It’s not like it’s bad to say that. What, should I say ‘nail’ it? Some other kind of tool? Come on, guys. We’ve all screwed stuff and nailed stuff before.”
(We couldn’t contain our laughter!)
(I’m a college student studying to be a teacher. I have a practicum assignment in a second-grade class at the local elementary school. Today is career day. I dress professionally for my practicum assignment, even though it’s not required.)
Child: “[My Name], what are you dressed up as?”
Me: “I’m dressed as a teacher. That’s what I want to be. That’s why I come to visit your class during the week.”
Child: “Teaching is a career?”
Me: “…”
(It’s my first day of high school, and I’m sitting in my history class. My teacher is explaining that he has ADD, so a lot his time in the classroom will be spent walking around and changing subjects.)
Teacher: “And that’s why you’ll see me fiddling with my wedding ring. Unless my wife is here, then I don’t.”
Us: *laughs*
Teacher: “Anyway, we’ll be covering a lot of topics this year…”
(He goes on for a few minutes about what we’ll be learning. Suddenly, he stops and looks at his wedding ring.)
Teacher: “And the really cool thing about this ring? It bounces!”
(He takes it off and throws it on the ground. Sure enough, it bounced about three feet in the air. He put it back on and continued talking about what we’d be doing for the year.)
(I am in a media-related course for my major. It is finals week and my classmates and I are in one of the computer lab spaces waiting for our professor to give us the exam.)
Professor: “I’m going to give you a choice. You can either take this exam and take the grade you get, or you can not take the exam, keep the grade you have now, and come eat lunch and watch [Online News Broadcast] with me in the studio.”
(We all checked our grades and decided to have lunch with him and watch the newscast. Best. Final. Ever.)
(I have been hearing all sorts of scary stories about how dangerous it is at the college I am going to go to. Among the stories is ‘there were 15 rapes in 14 days there!’ I am quite gullible, and rather apprehensive about leaving home. When I check into my dorm, the following conversation ensues:)
Resident Advisor: “Do you have any medical problems we should know about?”
Me: “No.”
Resident Advisor: “Do you have a car?”
Me: “No.”
Resident Advisor: “Do you have a gun?”
Me: “Do I need one?!”
