(I am in a year-twelve exam room, listening to the instructions. The student sitting in front of me puts his hand up and a supervisor comes over to assist.)
Student: “Hey, the instructions for this say I need a pencil, but I didn’t bring one. Can I borrow a pencil?”
Supervisor: *takes a pencil out of his pocket and hands it to the student* “Now remember, that’s a boomerang”
Student: “A what?”
Supervisor: “A boomerang… It comes back to me.”
Student: “In that case could I please have a pencil?”
Teacher: “Exams are about understanding, not regurgitating information!” *shows picture of his cat* “Regurgitation is for cats!”
(We are in a sociology class, during a review for an upcoming test. The teacher is quizzing us on the vocabulary term ‘more’ (pronounced mor-ay) which means a set of social customs and morals.)
Teacher: “Does anybody know what a ‘more’ is?”
(I couldn’t resist…)
Me: “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, THAT’S a more!”
Teacher: *laughs loudly*
Students: *groan*
Me: *grinning like an idiot*
(And that was the best moment of my high school education.)
(I’m four years old. It’s my second week of pre-school and up until now I have been dropped at home by the school bus, but this day because my dad has a day off from work he comes to pick me up. He signs in and talks to the receptionist who calls the classroom. My dad was 55 when I was born so he gets mistaken for my grandfather a lot. Also he is an Irishman who speaks his mind.)
Teacher: “Your grand-dad is here to pick you up”
Me: *confused I look out the door* “That’s not my grandpa; that’s my dad.”
Teacher: “It’s not nice to tell fibs. Come along now.”
(My teacher walks me out to where my dad is waiting.)
Teacher: *to my dad* “Hello Mr. [Name]. You know I think it’s wonderful when the grandparents of the children help out.”
Dad: “So do I but I’m not her grandfather. I’m her father, you twit.” *to me* “Come on, bub. Let’s go.”
(I saw the teachers face go red as she ran back into the classroom. She avoided me as much as possible for a long time and I think she used to hide when dad would pick me up!)
(My geometry teacher is lecturing on Zeno’s Principle, which says any distance must be halved before it can be completed, and this goes on infinitely. One student in particular is getting frustrated with it.)
Teacher: “So according to Zeno, it is impossible for Achilles to outrun the tortoise if the tortoise has a head start.”
Student: “By that logic, it’s impossible to walk through a door.”
Teacher: “Exactly! Now you’re getting it!”
Student: “Oh, I got it all right.”
(She picked up her stuff and walked out the door!)
