(In Singapore, we do not celebrate Thanksgiving, so people are generally unaware of its origins. During a general paper class, we have to read up on an article about the American family, and eventually, we stumble across the topic of Thanksgiving day. Having an American family, I explain what Thanksgiving is about to my friends. We go back to reading the article, and a few minutes later…)

Friend: “I GET IT NOW!”

Me: “Get what?”

Friend: “Why Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving.”

Me: “Enlighten me.”

Friend: “Look at this.” *reads from article* “‘The day on which Thanksgiving is celebrated was signed into union by Abraham Lincoln.'”

Me: “…so?”

Friend: “DON’T YOU GET IT?!”

Me: “Am I supposed to?”

Friend: “It was signed into union by AbraHAM Lincoln. Ham! Turkey ham!”

This story is part of our Presidents Day 2024 roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Puzzling Stories About Presidents!

Read the next Presidents Day 2024 roundup story!

Read the Presidents Day 2024 roundup!

(I’m taking a notoriously difficult class, where the average exam score is around a 50% at best. We have an exam tomorrow.)

Classmate: “So, how are you going to study for the exam?”

Me: “I went through all of my notes plus the notes our professor put up online, read all the sections of the textbook, did the recommended problems in the book, and I’m going to do a couple of the practice exams.”

Classmate: *wide eyed* “That’s a lot of work to do in one day.”

Me: “I know… That’s why I started two weeks ago…”

(I passed with flying colors. She didn’t.)

(My drama class is doing improv exercises.)

Teacher: “Okay, so imagine you’re making an energy ball. Imagine its size, weight, and what it’s made of. Be creative. [Student #1], what’s your ball made of?”

Student #1: “Bubblegum.”

Teacher: “What about you, [Student #2]?”

Student #2: “Music.”

Teacher: “And you, [My Name]?”

Me: *hoarse voice* “THE SOULS OF MY ENEMIES.”

(Our band director, while possessing a sense of humor, tends to be rather strict in her teaching style. As a result, a few students develop a rebellious sort of attitude with her. One has been making rather rude comments to her section for the past few minutes.)

Director: “[Student #1], I’ve had it with your comments. If you think all of this is beneath you, then go stand in the foyer until we’re done.”

(Student #1 actually does go stand in the little area in the entrance to the band room. The class proceeds normally, until the director tries to talk and is constantly interrupted by another student making noises with his trumpet.)

Director: “[STUDENT #2]!”

Student #2: *panicking* “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m REALLY sorry! PLEASE DON’T SEND ME TO THE FOYER!”

(The class is dead silent for about three seconds, and then everyone bursts out laughing. The class ends, and as I go up to the director to return some music…)

Director: *muttering in a high-pitched voice* “Please don’t send me to the foyer!”

(After college I move across the country to teach in a low-income school. It is almost winter break and the first time I’ll be able to go back home to visit family. During calendar time I decide to see if my students are aware of which holiday is coming up.)

Me: *excitedly* “Who can tell me what is going to happen in just 17 days?”

(I look around to see a lot of blank faces and shrugs. One student who has had extreme behavioral problems politely raises her hand and I eagerly call on her.)

Student: “Uh… your head is going to explode?”