Caught Read Handed

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Learning | August 9, 2013

(I’m in the gifted education program, and obsessed with reading. Each day I come with three non-school related books in my book bag, and finish the class assigned reading in a day when it is assigned for a full month. When I get to sixth grade, the teacher has heard about this.)

Teacher: “[My name], come here. I know you like to read ahead in the assigned reading, and I don’t want you to do that. From now on you’ll be getting these once a week.”

(She hands me a photo-copied packet of two chapters.)

Teacher: “Please don’t lose them.”

(I’m furious, but being small and shy, I nod, and finish the two chapters by the next class. My best friend feels sorry for me, and gives me her copy of the book. The next day in class, I’m reading one of my extra books.)

Teacher: “[My name], what are you doing?”

Me: “Reading!”

Teacher: “Where is your packet?”

Me: “I didn’t bring it, because [friend] gave me her book and let me finish it!”

(The teacher is raging, stops class to lecture me, and ends up confiscating my book from home. I’m now forbidden from reading in her class, and tell my mom about it.)

Mom: “Well, that’s stupid of her. School starts at nine tomorrow, right? I’m going to go up there and raise hell.”

(True to her word, my mother goes to the principal, who calls the teacher, and she and my mother proceed to throw fits in the principal’s office; my mother wins. She gets the reading list for the year, gets all the books from the library, and I read them in a week. From then on, I always made sure the teacher saw me read her books in her class.)

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That’s What She Said

| Learning | August 8, 2013


Mediocre Media

| England, UK | Learning | August 8, 2013

(We are in media class, and working on magazine covers. We have taken the pictures last lesson, and it is now time to edit them and put them together. The teacher opens the laptop trolley.)

Teacher: “Right, I only want you on these for five minutes this lesson.”

(It takes two minutes for the old machines to boot, and another three to login and load Photoshop. Sure enough, she opens the trolley again.)

Teacher: “Okay, everybody, shut down and put the laptops away, then get on with some work.”

(We do as asked, putting them away and sitting down. We end up sitting there for two hours, doing nothing, because the only work we have is on the laptops. At the end of the lesson, she starts complaining.)

Teacher: “Where is your work? Have you been sitting there ALL LESSON!?”

Friend: “On the laptops you put away.”

Teacher: “Nonsense. Everyone get out of my classroom!”

(We report her to the head of media immediately after. She never made that particular mistake again.)

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A New World Of Sexy

| History Class | Learning | August 8, 2013

(We are drawing pictures of Christopher Columbus for a project. A student suddenly gets up and starts showing everyone her picture.)

Student #1: “Everyone! Check out my picture!”

Student #2: “Wow. He’s hot.”

Teacher: “Can I see?”

(Student #1 shows her picture.)

Teacher: *makes sounds of pleasure* “God. He’s…”

Student #1: “Sexy?”

Teacher: “That’s right! He’s a regular Sexy Christopher Columbus.”

Methodist And The Madness

| Birmingham, AL, USA | Learning | August 8, 2013

(I go to a private, Christian School, where most of the classes are centered around the Bible. Because of this, the Bible class is considered the most important, and is very hard to pass. Our Bible teacher has views that conflict with what most of us have been taught. The class contains students that are from different church denominations.)

Bible Teacher: “Today, class, I have decided that we will have a question day. You can ask me any questions you may have about the Bible, and I will do my best to answer them.”

(I raise my hand.)

Bible Teacher: “Yes, [my name]?”

Me: “This past Sunday, my church had a visiting pastor, who mentioned that Dante’s Inferno paints a similar picture of not only Hell, but also of the world we live in now—”

Bible Teacher: “Whoa, I’m gonna stop you there. Only a Methodist would say that. I think we all know where Methodists are going after they die.” *points downwards*

(The Bible Teacher then launches into a big rant about how Methodism is a Satanic cult, and so on.)

Bible Teacher: “Now, class, I want to get to know you better. Let’s go around the room and share what denomination we are.”

(After a few students have their turn, it is now my turn to speak.)

Me: “I’m a Methodist.”

Bible Teacher: “It’s not nice to lie to me. I know you’re only joking. What are you really?”

Me: “I really am a Methodist, sir.”

Bible Teacher: “Look, I like you. You do well on my tests, and ask good questions. I refuse to believe that my star pupil is going to Hell.”

Me: “Sir, I really am a Methodist. If you can’t accept the fact that you have a different denomination than me, and contradict my views, I might as well not even come to this class. I come to learn, and today, I learned that I am going to Hell. And you know what? I’m okay with that. See you there.”

(The Bible Teacher is infuriated, and is about to explode.)

Bible Teacher: “In the hall now. You don’t deserve my knowledge.”

(Right as I am about to go, another student stands up.)

Student: “Sir, I’m also a Methodist. Should I go into the hall, too?”

Bible Teacher: “Yes, go. If anybody else is one, just go ahead and leave.”

(I am out in the hall, when the student comes out. Then another one. And another. Soon the entire class in the hall, and only the teacher is left in the room. We report him, and he ends up getting fired for what he told me.)

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