Another Tragic Hair Disaster

| North Wales, UK | Learning | March 12, 2013

(The phone rings five minutes before the end of the school day.)

Parent: *very distressed* “You’ll have to help me, please help!”

Me: “What on earth has happened? How can I help?”

Parent: “It’s an emergency! There’s been a disaster! You have to help me!”

Me: “Calm down and tell me what has happened. I’ll do my best to help”.

Parent: “I can’t get there to pick up [name of her child]. It’s an emergency!”

Me: “Don’t worry about her, I’ll keep an eye on her here at school. She can come home with me if need be. Is there anything else can do? What has happened?”

Parent: “It’s my hair, it’s turned out orange!”

Social Notworking

| Arizona, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

Me: “Good morning! ASU Information.”

Caller: “Umm, yeah, hi. Where am I?”

Me: “You have reached the ASU information desk. How can I help you?”

Caller: “No. I mean, like, where am I?”

Me: “Could you be more specific please?”

Caller: “Dude, I don’t know where I am. Can you find me?”

Me: “Are there people near you?”

Caller: “Um, yeah.”

Me: “Do any of them know where you are?”

Caller: “How do I find that out?”

Me: “Walk up to one of them, smile, and ask them if they know where you are.”

Caller: “Okay, thanks!” *fumbling around, muffled talking, phone beeping* “You are so awesome; it worked! Thanks!”

Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I work in the testing center for a community college. We administer placement exams and make-up exams, among other things. This particular student is taking his placement exam.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I have you set up on that computer over there.” *points to computer* “Just finish filling in your personal information and the test will begin.”

Student: “Okay, thanks.”

(About forty-five minutes go by as the student goes through the exam. I then see him raise his hand, so I stand up and walk over to his computer.)

Me: “Is there something wrong?”

Student: “Yeah, it’s telling me that I’m about to start the arithmetic test.”

Me: “Yes, that is part of the placement exam.”

Student: “But I’m supposed to be taking a math test, not an arithmetic test!”

Goodbye, Dolly

, | Indiana, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

Customer: “Excuse me, can I buy three tickets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re sold out.”

Customer: “Isn’t this [Town] High School?”

Me: “Yes, but this show is sold out.”

Customer: “How many seats are left?”

Me: “None. We’re sold out. There’s another show tomorrow at–

Customer: “Well, next time you should think about being already sold out before you start selling tickets!”

Someone Has Major Issues

| New York City, NY, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

(I’m a peer advisor at my college, which includes figuring out what the student is looking for to best service them before we send them to an advisor. This conversation happens about 4-5 times a month.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Student: “I want to talk to an advisor.”

Me: “Okay, about general education requirements or major requirements?”

Student: “Major requirements.”

Me: “Okay, for that you actually have to go to the major department and meet with an advisor there. We can only cover general education requirements here.”

Student: “But I want to speak to an advisor.”

Me: “Yeah, but for that you have to speak to someone in that department.”

Student: “Okay. Well, where is it?”

Me: “The department?”

Student: “That’s what I said.”

Me: “Well, what’s your major?”

Student: “Can I please just speak to an advisor?”

Me: “Well, I can’t help you figure out where that is until you tell me what your major is.”

Student: “I just want to talk to someone! Can’t I just see someone here?”

Me: “Well, like I said, we can only advise you on your general education requirements, so—”

Student: “Yes! That’s what I want to talk to someone about!”

Me: “Okay, let me sign you in. Someone will be with you in just a bit.”

(The student signs in and huffs off to a seat to wait. A coworker of mine takes the student after I’ve warned him about what happened. Less than a minute later, I see the student stomping out of our office. My coworker comes back to the front desk.)

Me: “Major requirements?”

Coworker: “Yup.”

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