Laziness Is More Widespread Than You-Know-What

, , , , , , , | Working | June 9, 2021

I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. I get a call one Saturday afternoon. It’s one of the teenagers who’s supposed to work the night shift.

Me: “Hello, is there an issue?”

Employee: *Obviously fake sick voice* “Ugh… I can’t make it in. I think I have [widespread illness].”

Me: “Okay. Did you find a replacement to come in for you?”

Employee: “Ugh. No.”

Me: “Okay, if you really think you can’t come in, stay home.”

Employee: “Ugh. Thanks.”

Me: “I’ll see you in two weeks.”

Employee: “Two weeks?”

Me: “Well, if you think you have [illness], I’m not scheduling you until either you quarantine for two weeks or you bring in a negative [illness] test to show me.”

Employee: “Ummm…”

Me: “Unless you want to tell me the truth.”

Employee: *Alarmed* “UMMMM…”

Me: “You don’t really think you have [illness], do you?”

Employee: *Defeated* “No.”

Me: “You feel totally fine and just don’t want to work tonight, right?”

Employee: *Sheepishly* “How did you know?”

Me: “Because this is the fourth week in a row one of you newbies has called off on a Saturday night claiming that you think you have [illness]. And every single one of you has been surprised when we tell you that you either have to quarantine or bring in a negative test to show us. You knew you’d have to work weekends. You can either show up to work tonight or you can just not show up at all in the future.”

Employee: “I’ll be in at five.”

Me: “I thought so.”

Seriously… all four transparently tried the same stunt, for four weeks in a row.

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