Laying It All On The Line

| Related | January 14, 2014

(I’m at my grandma’s house for Thanksgiving. My cousins, who are sisters, get into a huge argument while cleaning up after dinner.)

Cousin #1: “God, [Cousin #2], can’t you do anything right?”

Cousin #2: “Go to H***.”

Cousin #1: “I’ll meet you there.”

Cousin #2: “At least I’m not a 25-year-old virgin.”

Cousin #1: “No, you’re an 18-year-old s***.”

Cousin #2: “F*** you! Wait. Nobody wants to!”

Cousin #1: “You’re going to end up pregnant. You’re way too young for this.”

Cousin #2: “I’m 18. I’ve been with the same guy for three years. I lost my virginity two months ago. WE USE CONDOMS. I think I’m doing all right.”

Cousin #1: “Well… I… I’m telling mom!”

Cousin #2: “Go for it. What’s she going to do? Tell me I’m too young to get laid? You should try it. Might make you less of an uptight b****.”

(My older cousin stomps off and pouts for the rest of the night. My younger cousin ended up marrying that boyfriend right out of college. They’ve been married seven years and have two adorable babies.)

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