Lay It All Out On A Plate For You

(I was born and raised in Warsaw but I move to London when I am 22 so I can support my mother after she recently became a widow. I take the first job that’s offered to me, and whilst the pay rate is awesome the hours are sometimes unforgiving. On this particular night, there’s no exception. Almost all night we have been busy, and I end up staying until the very early hours of the next morning, hungry and tired. I decide to stop off at a 24/7 cafe to pick up some food on the way home. I’m eating my food when the waitress walks over. It’s clear that English isn’t her first language.)

Waitress: “I take plate for you, sir?”

Me: *nods as I don’t want to be rude and talk with my mouthful*

Waitress: “…sir? I take, yes?”

(I get the idea that she hasn’t noticed I’m still eating, so I decide to raise a finger, motioning to her that when I finish eating I can speak. However, she pulls a face, grabs the empty plate and walks off without a word. I think nothing of it and finish eating before walking up to the counter to pay. It’s only when I approach the counter I hear this from the same waitress.)

Waitress: *In Polish* “Stupid fat p***k! Why couldn’t he of just said something! There was no need for him to be an a** about it!”

(I am shocked at this point. Not because of her comments about my weight because I’m pretty skinny, but because of how foul mouthed she is. I’m behind two other guests, before I come forward to pay. By amazing coincidence, the same waitress is taking my pay for my food.)

Waitress: *In the nicest English accent* “Did you enjoy everything, sir?”

Me: “Oh, the food was nice, believe me. But there was one really bad thing about my experience.”

Waitress: “Oh yeah? What happened, sir?”

Me: *in Polish* “You. I cannot believe someone with such a bad mouth would dare speak about their patrons like that. There was no need for you to get upset about me not responding verbally to your earlier question, as you could plainly see I was eating, and I didn’t want to spit food all over you. Now, I do believe I need to pay my bill before I leave. And you’re not getting a tip.”

(The waitress went white in the face and processed my bill in record time. As soon as she received my money and completed the sale, she pretty much bolted from the counter!)