Late Night Burgers Come From Cash Cows

(It’s about 2 am. I pull up to a surprisingly busy drive through and place my order.)

Employee: “Cash or Credit?”

Me: “Credit.”

Employee: “Okay. Please drive through.”

(At the next window I hand the employee my credit card. He takes it from me.)

Employee: “Sorry, the machine is turned off for the night. You have to pay cash.”

Me: “I don’t have any cash on me. Why did you ask ‘cash or credit’ if the machine is turned off?”

Employee: “We just turned it off a couple of minutes ago. It must have still been on when they asked.”

Me: “But why turn it off at all?”

Employee: “That’s our policy. We turn it off at this time every night. It can’t be turned back on until morning.”

Me: *giving up* “Well, okay. Just give me my card back so I can leave.”

Employee: “But you need to pay for your food!”

Me: “You haven’t given me any food and I don’t have cash. What do you want me to do?”

Employee: “I already processed your order. You have to pay for it!”

Me: “I can’t magically make cash appear. You can either turn the machine back on and use my card, or you can cancel my order and give me my card back. There’s no third option.”

Employee: “What if I gave you your card and you went to an ATM and got cash?”

Me: “Sure, that’s a great idea. Just give me my card.”

(He finally gives me my card back. I never went back to that restaurant.)