Late For A Date With A Plane

(This happens way before 9/11, back in a time where airport security is only SLIGHTLY more lax. My brother is leaving for a week-long trip. Rather than pay parking fees, I agree to go with him to the airport, drive the car back to my place, and pick him up when he gets back. My brother has never been great with timing, though, and we are getting to the airport with minutes to spare. Of course, he also pulls into the through-traffic lane, instead of the drop-off lane. Note that there’s the double-yellow “do not pass” lines on the road, as well as periodic reflectors, making it obvious to all.)

Me: “Ah, crap. I told you we needed to take the right ramp!”

Brother: “Hang on.”

Me: “Wha-AAH!”

(And just like that he yanks the wheel to the right, cutting straight across the lane, cutting someone else off, and literally screeching the brakes as he pulls into a spot. I’m basically plastered across the back of my seat and the door out of shock.)

Me: “DUDE, WHAT WAS THAT?!”

Brother: “I can’t miss the flight!”

(He proceeds to jump out of the car without even turning it off, and ignores the POLICE OFFICER that has rushed up.)

Cop: “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?”

Brother: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m late! I can’t miss this flight!”

Cop: “Do you have any idea what you just did!?”

Brother: “I know, I know! I’m sorry! I never do that, but I’m late!”

Cop: *pointing to me as I’m getting out of the car* “AND YOU! Why did you let him do that?!”

Me: *doing a double-take at him* “Well, he didn’t exactly CONSULT ME ON IT!”

(Thankfully, the officer turned all his attention to my brother, so I was able to get in and leave. Apparently, my brother was yelled at all the way through the bag check and into the airport itself; I have no idea how he didn’t end up getting a ticket or other fine. I also made him promise that any time we went anywhere, I’d drive!)