Last Shift Shifty Sausage

| Working | August 14, 2013

(I am a 25-year-old female. I am two miles from my home when I find I haven’t got sausages for a barbecue I’m going to. I stop at a station and the cashier is watching a rather loud handheld television.)

Me: *going to sausages* “How much are these?”

Cashier: “Please give me your ID.”

Me: “I’m buying sausages.”

Cashier: *still looking at television* “Sorry, I’m afraid you have to give ID for any alcoholic drinks, cigarettes or lottery tickets.”

Me: “But I’m buying sausages.”

(The cashier finally looks up from the television and at my face. He doesn’t notice the sausages.)

Cashier: “Look, I’m sorry; you look under 21. I can’t sell you alcohol or cigarettes.”

Me: “I—”

Cashier: “Please put them back where you got them, or leave them on the till. It is a felony to sell a minor anything alcoholic.”

Me: “Listen. You haven’t even looked at what I’m buying. I’m buying sausages; nothing illegal at all. And I’m actually 25.”

(The cashier gets a small radio out.)

Cashier: “[Manager], could you come here; I’ve got a minor trying to buy—”


Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Cashier: “This girl’s trying to buy something she’s too young for.”

Me: *giving up* “Listen, I’ll show you my ID.”

Manager: “There’s no point; I’ll shred it anyway. I’m sick and tired of you kids trying to think you can buy wine and get yourselves drunk!”

(I try to interrupt, but the manager stops me. He gets a camera out and takes a picture of my face.)

Manager: “And don’t bother coming again! You are hereby banned from [store], and I’m telling every gas station in the state not to allow—” *looks out the window and points at my car* “—that car in their area and refuse you service. Now, I’m afraid your little plan to buy wine didn’t work out, so why don’t you get out?”

(I hold up the sausages right at his face. He goes pale.)

Me: “I am buying sausages.”

Manager: “Oh. [Cashier], why didn’t you ask?”

(I look and see the cashier. Despite his boss ranting, he has fallen asleep with his head on the desk.)

Manager: “I’ll talk to him about shifts.”

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