Laptop Flop, Part 14

(When I was going to college I bought a laptop to do my schoolwork on. Being young and naive, I purchased the extended warranty. When I had the laptop for just shy of a year, it mysteriously died. Since it was covered under the extended warranty, I took it back in to be fixed. They returned it to me, but it wasn’t fixed and soon died again, causing me take it back again. This went back and forth for several months. About the seventh time I take it back, I finally ask.)

Me: “So, how many times do we have to go through this before you just give up and give me a new one?”

Clerk: “Four times.”

Me: “Am I getting my new one, then? Because this is the seventh time, by my records.”

Clerk: “It’s only the second time by our records. You’ll get a new one when it’s been four times.”

Me: “I swear, it’s been far more than four times.”

Clerk: “NO, IT HASN’T! We’ll get this fixed and get it back to you when we feel like it, buddy.”

(Given the rudeness of that clerk, I pretty much give up and adopt an “I’ll get it when I get” attitude. A few weeks later, the college semester is coming to an end. For an oral presentation, I decided to wear my business suit, just to project a more professional air. When I was driving home from class that night, I was passing the electronics store, and decided to stop in and check up on my laptop. I walk up to the desk, and see the same rude clerk working. This time, though, rather than his rude demeanor, he leaps to attention as I walk to the desk.)

Me: “Yes, I dropped off my laptop to be fixed a few weeks ago.

Clerk: “Yes, sir! I’ll go check up on that right away, sir!”

(The clerk disappears into the back for a few minutes. He comes out with a brand new laptop.)

Clerk: “Well, I have bad news for you, sir. They were testing your laptop in the shop, when it suffered yet another failure. That’s four times, and, under the terms of the extended warranty, let me please present you with this new laptop.”

Me: “Really? Now it’s been four times? When I dropped it off a few weeks ago, you said it’d only happened twice.”

Clerk: “Umm… it suffered its additional two failures while we were working on it. So, yup. It’s been four times now, and as you’ve been awfully persistent in this matter, we can give you a new laptop.”

Me: “Okay. Well, then, thank you very much for this.”

Clerk: “And on behalf of the store, let me deeply apologize for taking so long to replace your laptop. We hope this hasn’t impacted your business, and that you’ll continue coming to us for all your business needs!

(That’s when it finally dawns on me: I’m still wearing my suit! The clerk’s demeanor had improved because he was now assuming I was some important businessman, and needed the laptop for work. I decided to roll with it.)

Me: “Are you aware of how much money I’ve lost waiting for this? I cannot, in good conscience, continue to bring my company’s business here. You can tell your manager you just lost this store the Henderson account!”

(The clerk went pale and slumped in his chair, as I left with my new laptop. By the way, I don’t know anyone named Henderson and never worked for a company named Henderson. It was just something I saw on a sitcom.)