Lamp-ooning Your Attempts To Discipline

(I’m curled up in bed when my dog starts licking the carpet.)

Dog: *lick lick lick*

Me: “Bad dog! Stop licking my carpet!”

Dog: *lick lick lick*

Me: “Fine you asked for it.” *reaches to throw pillow at dog but instead knocks over a lamp*

(CRASH.)

Me: “Well, I suppose that works, too.”

Dog: *lick lick lick*

Me: “Oh, come on!”