The Ladder Gets Higher And Higher

, , , , | Related | May 3, 2018

(My dad and I have a rather sarcastic relationship. I’m 41, female, and have never been married. As a result, I’ve been having the following conversation with him for the past 20 years. Twenty years old:)

Dad: “So, not married?”

Me: “Dad! I’m still in college! And 20! And… NO!”

Dad: “What if I put $20 and a ladder outside your window?”

Me: “…”

(Twenty-five years old:)

Dad: “I’m thinking of upping things to $25.”

Me: “…”

Dad: “…”

Me: “Really?”

(Thirty years old:)

Dad: “It’s now $50. Desperate times…”

Me: “Uh… I don’t even live in the same time zone.”

Dad: “…”

Me: “Really?!”

(Thirty-five years old:)

Dad: “Hmmm… Maybe $100 will do it?”

Me: “There’s nothing wrong with not being married!”

Dad: “…”

Me: “Seriously?! How about you give me the $100, and you can keep the ladder?”

(Forty-one years old:)

Dad: “The ladder’s still there, but now it’s a blank check.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD! I DON’T EVEN LIVE ON THE SAME COAST!”

(Later the same day:)

Me: “So, my dad has been joking about putting a ladder and some money outside my window because I’m still not married. It used to be $100, but now it’s a blank check.”

Significant Other: “A blank check, you say? What’s his return policy?” *speculative smirk*

Me: *facepalm*

 

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